PRINCESS LAYLA'S TRUTH

Only you can take me to the moon and back

2011-12-01T04:21:00.005+08:00

I only wish to be the fountain of love from which you drink,
every drop promising eternal passion.

My new boy used to be a model
He looks way better than you
He looks way better than you
My new boy gets it how to get me
His love is deeper, you know
He's a real keeper, you know, oh

My new boy knows the way I want it
He's got more swagger than you
He's got more swagger than you do
My new boy really likes to flaunt this
He's not hiding me you know
He's showing me off you know

Bang, bang, bang I'm breaking in
Stealing all my love back, giving it to him
Bang, bang, bang, this time I win
I thought your love was all that,
Til I let him in

baby hugged me to me so tight last night, machiam he thought i will run away in our sleep, i woke up having the sweetest lover's stiff neck today.
currently having a lovely ache on the right side of my neck.
#OW.

i know i have a history of full moonlight sleepwalking but i don't think it warrants a hug locked so tight that it gives me aches for the entire day because we have the wardrobe blocking the window for warranty.
LOL.

someone questioned why i bothered to leave a comment on Eflood's blog.
whether i bothered or not, i was still gonna come out about the asshole's & his fat slut's atrocities on my site.

i left my site url together with the comment.

我明人不做暗事。 i don't waste my time bitching behind people's back.
要講就光明正大的講。不像有些人偷偷摸摸，渾水摸渔 secretly blog and publish it then let it pass.
your intended audience don't even have your blog url. YOU TALKING TO THE WALL AH?

really wanna be so secretive and low-profile then privatize your blog.
like that don't need join nuffnang.

also quite the contrary to popular opinion that i have my baby pay for my demands, i'm always thinking of ways to help him save money & time.
yes, with his capability he makes more money than i do.
but i is a good fiancee/girlfriend okay?
my baby so capable how can have no brains to detect a gold digger?
anyway, what is mine is also his. why would i want to anyhow spend my money?
he is me with a dick and male hormones. i will never ask him to do or eat anything that i don't feel safe or healthy to.

plus we are not wildly rich. Yet.
just because i may focus on studying now, our situation does not mean that we need not save for our future.
i don't wish to KENA REJECTION LIKE SOME PEOPLE when the time comes for us to apply for a HDB.
that is, if we ever apply for a hdb.
the way my baby is handling our financial affairs, we may be skipping the hdb tier and going straight for the private apartments.

i think there are ladies out there who shares my opinions.
we don't want guys to pay for us left right centre then leave them high and dry.
we also have our pride and dignity.
i have no need to marry a rich man or a prominent family like my chichi ue's family wants me to. just a man who is willing to spend on me and won't feel heartpain.
you don't find us worthy for you to part with something you can earn more, then why are you with us hah? a lot of time on your hands si bo?

what we appreciate is Chivalry.
we appreciate and like it when our men are always proud and pleased to pay for his ladies all the time.
it shows that the man have the ability to earn enough to pay for his lady, and in the future, a family.
we all want our children to be dragons and phoenixes. so of course we also want to be worthy golden phoenix to a capable dragon spouse.

i prefer a man who is capable to take care of me and provide me with the option that when i step out to work, it's BECAUSE I WANT TO. NOT BECAUSE I HAVE TO.
maybe ?????? is welcomed. but if ever the time comes that misfortune happens to my man's career, i will do my best to help. this includes stepping out to work.
come on lah, i study so much cannot be for nothing one right?

prior my return to school, when i was earning i would also spend on baby.
in fact, i would be thinking of helping him to save money but i would spend the money i earned myself like water after putting aside a portion for savings.

i never go shopping with baby's money.
i'd be thinking, "this is baby's hard-earned money, cannot anyhow spend."
but i'll be buying everything i like when i go out with my wages.
goodness.
LOL.
in fact, i never go shopping unless i'm earning my own salary or baby wants me to get something for occasions.

if i'm spending baby's money like no tomorrow now that i'm not earning, how to have resources to execute my dream wedding and honeymoon?

speaking of which. baby was really cute when i was telling him about having our honeymoon to the top 10 happiest countries in the world.
he said he wanted us to go sealand as well.
i was like, "sealand?! i've heard of iceland and ireland, but not sealand."

baby said it is a miniscule island somewhere in europe.
i said i thought he was talking about DisneySea. he immediately gave me his trademark 'hmmph' pretend-to-be-angry pout.
LOLOL.

sealand sounds like a blustery, rainy place.
i know we won't be going to places like Mauritius cos i can't take the sun, but that doesn't mean i want to go to blustery, stormy and wet places for my honeymoon.
i don't mind cold or the occasional rain but i don't think i would like to take something near to typhoon.

no photos today.
it's like 4 freaking am already.
need to sleep so i can get up earlier (than my usual wake up time. LOL) cos before going to school, i'm gonna see Weiwei!

X

Sometimes, people can go missing right before our very eyes. Sometimes, people discover you, even though they’ve been looking at you the entire time. Sometimes, we lose sight of ourselves when we’re not paying enough attention.

We all get lost once in a while, sometimes by choice, sometimes due to forces beyond our control. When we learn what it is our soul needs to learn, the path presents itself. Sometimes we see the way out but wander father and deeper despite ourselves; the fear, the anger, or the sadness preventing us from returning. Sometimes we prefer to be lost and wandering; sometimes it’s easier. Sometimes we find our own way out. But regardless, always, we are found.

- Cecilia Ahern, A Place Called Here

Too bad I can catch someone in a lie when I heart voyeur

2011-11-28T22:38:00.031+08:00

"An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered."
G. K. Chesterton, was an English writer

every single time i log in to blogger, i get distracted by the blogposts of bloggers whom i follow on blogger, and there i'll go clicking on the url of their posts and proscratinate my own blogging. wtf. lol.
-smacks self-

"People who hurt you are like sandpaper;
they may cause you pain but when it's over,
you'll be polished and they'll be Useless."

someone googled "Micky Kua" to get to my blog.
this person is a singnet user.
confirm either slut's or asshole's friend.

i also know that the fat slut and mucky kua have been here.
i used to visit my own blog with his starhub internet and had labelled it previously to help myself tell the difference.

you all can don't so disgusting anot.
both of you and your friends and relatives hate me still come and read.
that is mad disgusting perverse behavior.
PLEASE JIAN TAO YOURSELF YI XIA.

so i've been thinking: i need to write an afterpost to finish up the previous revelation post. the below can be titled as a Disclaimer to whatever ridiculous claims the fat slut and asshole mucky kua can come up with me to smear onto my name.

there is nothing, and i must repeat, NOTHING about an asshole and slut with a fat bum that i am or want to be jealous/envious of.
they have Nothing that i want. they don't even have loose change in their pockets even if i want their money.
in fact, on the contrary THEY HAVE EVERYTHING THAT I DON'T WANT.

everything in your life is chock full of SHAME.
so what do you have in our life that anybody else, not to mention me, would want to be jealous of?

YOU MARRIED A CHEATING ASSHOLE LIAR.
YOUR MARRIAGE IS SHAMELESSLY SHOTGUN.

after giving up the chance of even a remotely decent wedding because mucky kua knocked you up , you had to have a shameless shotgun wedding and become an auntie when you haven't even had your 21st bash, you had to face disappointing results:

YOUR BASTARD BOY IS FUGLY
and also know that YOUR MUCKY KUA LIED TO YOU THAT WE BROKE UP BEFORE HE MET YOU WHEN HE WAS ACTUALLY STILL WITH ME WHEN HE STARTED GETTING TOGETHER WITH YOU.

i know you have read my past blogposts.
you should be able to tell from there that we were still having good days and bad days and were still trying to work things out together.
you wanna know why he still got together with you even though he was still with me? Very Simple.
HE WANTED TO KEEP YOU AROUND AS A SPARE TIRE LAH!
look closely at your own body in the mirror. so fat even before being bastard mum, confirm have spare tire.
that's why you were the perfect fit for his job despcription.
the photo i posted in my previous post may be from a long time ago but THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE STILL FAT NOW. STILL NO DIFFERENCE.

you were nothing but A WAY OUT OF OUR RELATIONSHIP, THAT'S ALL.
so if you weren't pregnant, he probably wouldn't have married you in the long run.

i don't know if your delusional brain ever went there so i'm stating it down for you to see it here.
print out the theory if you have to.

you didn't even have a proper wedding. in the economical sense, mucky kua and your family burdened with 2 younger children cannot afford it.
i assume you didn't even had the chance to wear a wedding gown because mucky kua cannot afford to splurge on tailored custom-made wedding dress - come on, didn't even have money to apply for a HDB DBS scheme apartment & also pay for hospital fees to discharge your own bastard already. WHERE GOT MONEY TO EVEN CUSTOM MADE A DRESS A FAT SLUT WILL ONLY WEAR ONCE.

every lady has an inner girl in the innermost chamber of their hearts. so of course most of us will prefer to have a glorious wedding of our dreams if we can afford it or marry someone who can afford it.
these are once-in-a-lifetime matters and they matter to very much to an unmarried girl.

call me materialistic, high maintenance whatever.
I HAVE STANDARDS.
before i marry myself off to auntiehood, to be wife, mother and daughter-in-law, i must have a glorious wedding of pure joy orgy where all my guests, husband and myself enjoy ourselves all day long.
mucky kua confirm guarantee chop will not be able to provide for that.

i don't want a pathetic little do with only the registration ceremony, or the groom fetching the bride to serve tea at parents' homes and then family dinner.
mad ke lian and most of all, BORING.

at least i'm marrying a very capable man.
i'm proud that he is has all the abilities and legal sources to make money and pay for what we will have and where we will go, and i can still focus on my studies.
it's glorious.
MUUUUUCH better than marrying a poor mouse who has to rent out the family car even on vacation overseas.
my baby is proud and pleased to be able to pay for his lady and give her money to keep for herself. if he doesn't comments anything, who are you to comment your 1 cent worth of shit? 多管閒事。

FYI: ladies don't pay with money.
a lady pays with her priceless assets: youth, slim figures, efforts to remain pretty and slim and be a source of his pride on her man's arm when they go out even after giving birth, to be a educated virtuous wife by supporting and protecting the husband's career and be a respectful and kind daughter-in-law to the husband's family who brought forth her husband.

if what i say isn't true, why is there the term "trophy wife"?
i will only make these efforts for a man worthy of me.
who would want to marry a stingy man or a man incapable to feed and pay for his lady and give her money to keep for herself?

i don't use makeup at all yet i am still fair thanks to my genes and maintenance efforts. i still get approached by photographers and dating proposals even after exiting the modelling industry (because i no longer want to put on pores-clogging makeup for any kind of work).
unlike some people, not even 21 already look like dark peasant Auntie.

i watch what i eat for health and slimming reasons.
i seldom use my only perfume yet my baby still comments that i smell sweet.
i don't need to wear heels yet i can still stand taller than the average.
i dress properly when i head out. not like some people.. wear jeans, berms and big baggy t-shirts/auntie tops Everywhere... machiam they're going to pa sat/downstairs kopitiam all the time yet still can buey paisehly so thick-skinned as to criticize people left right and centre.

what to do. fat people jealous of slim people so they have the need to criticize to vent their envy.
they don't have much choice in their clothes either.
need to wear baggy auntie tops and t-shirts to hide their fats and jeans to HELP accentuate their fat thighs and legs.
i reckon they're gonna need all the help they can get from those jeans.
jeans are the toughest material for clothes around. fat people like Eflood won't need to worry about their fat bums splitting their jeans when they're out in the public.

people like eflood goh have to slog away as mere ground workers that they are even too tired/exhausted and lazy to even merely update their pathetic blogs because their husbands are incapable of making more money so they won't have to work.
and if you work so hard like you said, Y U NO SLIM DOWN STILL?
criticize non-working ladies but looking like a haggard yourself after work. you look like 20-going on-41.
i understand why you criticize so much. because you're secretly envious of ladies like me.

my baby is a major realist. if he doesn't see worth in something or someone, he will not waste an ounce of energy, time and/or resources on them.
he is not charity.
he knows that he wants to achieve complete financial freedom and also have a hot girl/wife.
my baby said before, if the girl is not hot he don't want.
at least he has standards.

unlike mucky kua who wants me to cover up like a nun, my baby is pleased when my dressing shows off my long legs and small waist and he is proud to protect me and shows everyone that i belong to him.
when we go out, baby sometimes tells me that he spots guys checking me out and some even staring at me openly.
not just staring at my legs or body. i see them staring too and i see them staring at my face with big pupils.
baby told me these guys will check me out first, then see my hand holding on to his arm or in his hand, then trace his arm length to his face where they will see him staring fiercely back at them. LOL
even on valentine's day, their eyes follow me when i walk past as they hug their girlfriends in their arms.
baby was the one who saw and informed me. i thought it was abit kua zhang but i didn't see this one. i only had eyes for my baby and my phone (slave to tiny tower wtf).

i think the downside of this is that my baby's eyes are going to get really tired in the long run.
i told baby it's been tough on him and his eyes. i'll give him eye massages as much as possible and buy him tonics to strengthen his eyes. LOL

i may not have the capability and abilities to earn as much as baby now but i make the effort to be an asset and let my baby be proud of me and these efforts are Priceless.
anyway, i'm still studying. so please keep in mind that it is a gross mistake to measure potential when it is in training.

you can steal mucky kua away because mucky kua is an asshole who gave himself away.
you're welcomed to try your thieving hand on my baby.
we'll see if he is even remotely slightly interested.
i can sit back and enjoy the comedy.

anyway we can safely bet that no man better than mucky kua will want you.
any man with any standards at all won't even give you a shit.
unless you go for plastic surgery, slim down like 200 pounds beauty and maybe give that horrendous personality a lift-up.

I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO HEREBY DECLARE THAT
I WOULD MUCH MUCH PREFER TO LOOK LIKE A GHOST ANYDAY:

A Chinese Ghost Story, Nie Xiao Qian by Joey Wong
倩女幽魂聶小倩，王祖賢饰演

than to be happy and contented looking like the below and yet spend my time criticizing better-looking people left right centre instead of improving how i look:

sorry. wrong photo!

here you go.

NO! STILL WRONG PHOTO! GOMENASAI! *scuffles*

here! i'm pretty sure this is the correct one.

wait. still the wrong one. sorry.

ahhh~ here we are.

my apologies. i couldn't tell the difference previously.

somebody need to introduce Eflood slut and her eyebrows to a giant pair of tweezers or steven lim.

too busy working too hard or simply too lazy to Maintain?
need me to buy for you?
i can take some time from studying to help you get a pair of lovely pink tweezers to demonstrate my sympathy for you.

my condolences that i can only afford tweezers for you and not full works plastic surgery.
because you claimed that i have No Money what - confirm information from Mucky Kua.

here's your revelation: just because i still took money from the asshole after he got together with a slut officially, DOESN'T MEAN THAT I HAVE NO MONEY OF MY OWN.

I HAVE.

i LIED to him only.

BECAUSE I WANTED HIM TO PAY SOME MORE AS MUCH AS I CAN MAKE HIM.

*evil laugh*

LOL

my one lie is NOTHING COMPARED TO HIS HORDES OF LIES HE FED TO ME.

the asshole fed me LIES BY THE BUCKETS when we were together: even before fat slut came into the picture, Of Course also after fat slut entered our relationship.

steady bo. last time i was damn BLIND right!
dumber in love. *eyes-roll myself*

once again, WHY ARE HER EYES ALWAYS PUFFY HAH??
useless mucky kua cannot earn enough money so slut wife has to work too hard, get exhausted lor! ORBI. =D
or maybe it's just her lousy genes.

i don't have asshole mucky kua's baby photos anymore arbor i would have put it up and let you people do a comparison how different they look from each other.

mucky, really your bastard not? 不是你的就不要乱認 leh! tsktsktsk

initially wanted to place charlie brown's grin on the bastard, but i wanted to everyone to see how fugly the bastard is. LOL

Eflood's Bastard is a doppelganger of this:

the fat little lazy bastard in Spirited Away!
HAHAHAHHAHAH!!

below is a recent photo of fat slut Eflood.

yep. looking Real Hot in the usual auntie tunic and stretchable jeans.

see what i mean by NO DIFFERENCE from her old photos in poly?
STILL FAT LAH! don't need to give excuses.

words of serious advice: one should not be going round criticizing others when one already looks as fugly as the above photos. especially if and when one is not of royal bloodline. instead, one should spend the time wisely looking really hard into the mirror and analyze how one can improve oneself.

Disclaimer: these photos were obtained legally from Google.
criticize and upset over people getting possession of your photos?
then PRIVATIZE YOUR SHIT LAH!
Retard.

and if i had arms that size, i will so chop it off.
at least i'll weigh lesser on the weighing scale.

DON'T GIVE FUCKED-UP EXCUSES that you are still fat now because of baby weight.
then Victoria Beckham & Paulina Hu Wenying is Simi??

44-year-old da jie here is mother of THREE kids.

this one below even better: Birth-giver of FOUR BABIES
& still manage to regain her figure
Every Single Time.

still can look good even when she was pregnant.

some women may already have good genes to start with, but some way or the other a lady still has to Maintain.
it's all about EFFORTS TO maintain, MAINTAIN & MAINTAIN!

waste time criticizing people, 不如 heed your own advice to LOOK IN THE MIRROR YOURSELF.
LOOK HARD & ANALYZE HARD HOW YOU CAN IMPROVE YOURSELF.
one finger point other people, three fingers pointing back at Yourself.

if you cannot keep up like VB, then just KEEP QUIET go back to living your mundane life because 你没有資格批評别人！

if your excuse is you have no money like VB to keep up, don't come back to me shooting your mouth off. LOOK AT THE USELESS ASSHOLE YOU CHOSE TO STEAL, FUCK WITH & SHOTGUN MARRIED TO.

anyway, exercise doesn't require money. it's free.
so is eating lesser. it even helps you to Save Money since you have to work yourself to exhaustion for it.
*eyes-roll*

i may be making a mistake here.
mucky kua would NEVER want fat slut to look hot and attractive.
i know his pattern. he wants his women to cover up like:

ok lah maybe not so kua zhang. lol
but he always used to Pressure me to cover up my legs and scrutinize the length of my dresses. *Stress*

mucky kua would want fat slut eflood to always remain looking like the Frumpy Auntie she is now.
FOREVER in auntie clothes, Forever big and fat & Forever Frumpy.

WHAT do you know about my appearance anyway.
NOTHING, that's what!

back in jp, i am considered a pursuant/manifestation of a traditional Japanese classic beauty - a princess of the ancient heian era (think machiam china tang dynasty).
my girl itokos and i have been brought up, educated and styled by the paternal branch to adopt this as the highest form of beauty.

that explains the centre-parting i can never get rid of.

some people wanna go jp but never read up about the country's culture. throw face.
you think going to japan is just the modernity of good shopping - nice shops, kawaii clothes, accessories and packaging, snow, cherry blossoms and lovely scenery that you can only see now?
jitao bumpkin and frog in the well TTM.

please hor. the country is MORE THAN THAT.
underneath the blanket of modernity that one can see when one is in japan now, is the culture built upon centuries and centuries of traditions.
BUEY HIAO!

i may not have paid much attention to my social and cultural lessons at home but at least some of the senseis' teachings have more or less seeped into a corner of my memories.

you seriously reckon i'm jealous of your honeymoon?

哇！實在是見鬼咯！

slut, please. your honeymoon doesn't even last for at least 2 weeks and it's to a country ravaged by calamities.
it's a known fact that going there is as cheap as going to pre-flood thailand. prices have dropped drastically (to me) since the crises.
if the tsunami comes sweeping inland again, it'd do the world a whole lot of goodness sweeping off the both of you.
i'll thank god in advance here.

好啦。 i won't mention my Lucerne wedding & Happiest-Countries-In-The-World-Exploration-Honeymoon to you anymore okay?
i did because you're delusional to believe that i am jealous of your cheapskate trip to japan. travelling by budget air must be an interesting experience. i never tried before.
i'll be good and not rub my good fortune in your pimple-scarred face.
heheheh.

please don't fecking claim that i am jealous and envious of your bastard.
i don't even see it as a baby please. it's so mad fugly with your small slitty droopy eyes on its face wtf.

it is absolutely natural that you think your bastard is cute. mums are generally plain biased.
also the fact that YOUR BASTARD HAS A FACE ONLY ITS MOTHER CAN LOVE.

I HAVE MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE GOOD-LOOKING AND CAPABLE GENES THAN YOU for goodness' sake.
it's been proven over and over in my family.
cousins on my paternal side passed entrance exams of todai and studies in there, and/or graduated from there.
in case you don't know simi is todai, it's Tokyo Uni. Ivy League of Japan. Yale does not even come close to Todai.
NUS/NTU/SMU is sup sup sui compared to todai.
you leh? Nursing Diploma only.
Mucky leh? PhD holder - POLY HALFWAY DROPOUT not even certified.
but i'm certain that he doesn't have the tenacity to get any other paper.

i also have a very good-looking fiance who has good-looking parents passed their good-looking genes down to him.
thank god for in-laws with good genes.
i think i don't have to relate how capable he is. i hate repeating myself.

if i yearn for a baby, i can have a beautiful one chock full of capabilities myself.
it's not as if you're the only fertile girl the asshole dated. mucky kua knows this.

the little bastard DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE THE ASSHOLE FATHER when he was a baby.
i used to have the asshole's baby photo album so i know what i'm talking about.
there is a possibility that kieran kua does not have biological ties to mucky kua what with eflood goh being a slut.
i know eflood goh is on good terms with the asshole's bffs.
maybe she was impregnated by one of them. -shrugs-

nurses are supposed to have angel-like personalities and character to care and have concern and compassionate to people they are not even close to or know very much about.
you? YOUR PATTERN WILL FOREVER REMAIN AS A MERE NURSE, NEVER AN ANGEL.

but honestly speaking, if this slut has any compassion AT ALL she would have had the sense to leave an asshole cheating on his girlfriend, irregardless how their relationships were going.

so seriously, just STFU wipe shit and change diapers and bedpans for your bastard and old people.

i have to stress once again that i am not writing all these down for sympathy.
please go sympathize Africa, Somalia women, abused & homeless animals.
they really deserve your sympathy.
the one who deserves sympathy most of all is Elaine Fat Slut Goh. i think her life is THE SHITS.
fat, ugly, shotgun wedding and marriage, gave birth to an ugly bastard despite sacrifices, have to stick with a pussy cheating liar and a horrible personality to boot even though she is supposed to be a nurse. MAJOR FAIL.
personally, i sympathize her bastard and her patients.

my point of getting this down is to reinforce the fact that many people make good first impressions. they may also subsequently show that they're compassionate, loving and gentle. but if you're patient, you will see that over time these people will start showing their asshole true colors.
JUST LIKE MUCKY KUA.

contrary from the "nice" face & personality that they show the world, these people like Mucky Kua
- don't give a fuck about your safety and feelings.
- are unreliable and selfish.
- cheat on girlfriends/boyfriends who love them and still don't feel a teeny bit of remorse.
- also cheat on the slut/asshole they cheat with telling them that they have broken up with their girlfriend/boyfriend when they have not and many other sweet words (read: lies).
- KISS AND TELL to the slut/asshole they're cheating with about their relationship with the girlfriend/boyfriend they're cheating on, especially emphasizing everything negative of the relationship.
- mixing their own special brand of lies into their pot of kiss and tell stew to stir an even more negative view of the relationship they're cheating on for the slut/asshole.
- try to redeem their guilt without sincere apologies but grossly buying out the cheated girlfriend/boyfriend.
- after they left the girl/guy for the slut/asshole they cheat with, return to be "friends" but still one leg step two boats go out dating with + still get intimate with the girlfriend/boyfriend they cheated on+left to be with their slut/asshole.

was it ANY SURPRISE that mucky kua thinks i treat him horribly?
you reap what you sow, hello?
how i used to treat you is A REACTION TOWARDS HOW YOU USED TO TREAT ME.

my baby is goodness-to-honestly awesome and sweet to me.
now, THAT WARRANTS VERY DIFFERENT TREATMENT from me.
i sayang him every single day, i don't say words he doesn't want to hear and i never cuss or swear at him.
it's a very simple logic: i treat you exactly how you treat me.

i'm all about justice and fairness.
造孽還想吃甜果？請你摸摸自己的良心，慎重的檢討自己。

this is going to get a reaction from them.
PLEASE DO. I LOVE THE ATTENTION.
do it while your fugly bastard cries its lungs out in the background for formula.
improve your command of the English language while you are at it.
i can introduce you a TESOL qualified English teacher for that. i'm sure my friend can give you a discount on my account.

the above is a speculation. i wouldn't know because i'm not giving the eflood slut any blog hits since the first and last time i did.
i am merely basing this on what i heard.

i will understand your harsh and bitter words of atrocious English grammar.
you don't have anything even remotely glorious in your life.
everything in your life is shameful and inglorious.
you never had a proper engagement to a proper fiance and have never been a proper fiancee to a man after all.
your 'engagement diamond ring' was the bastard boy you were carrying. that was the only thing that tied you to a man prior marriage. i guess to mucky kua, fucking you was already sort of a proposal.
how disappointing for you that your bastard turned out fugly if not you might have been able to successfully rub it in my face that stealing my boyfriend gave you a perfect child. hahahahah.

don't be jealous or envious of me, slut.
you made your choice to steal an asshole. i am grateful to you for 'healing' my blinded eyes.

"People who hurt you are like sandpaper;
they may cause you pain but when it's over,
you'll be polished and they'll be Useless."

let love rule where fear ruled before x

2011-11-13T20:34:00.005+08:00

高脚杯裏的金魚
高貴的漫游
卻還玩着憂鬱
如果想要自由
就不要喝醉酒
放生時就會猶豫
失去了離開的理由

July Photos

July signals the nearing of Summer Birthday.
sometimes i find myself wondering why i still celebrate the fake birthday.
what's the meaning i want to give to it?

1st July 2011

was at the hougang polyclinic to get a referral letter to return to SGH for sclerosis condition check-up.

met up with my darling Graceee

this was the last time i saw her before her semesters at university started.
i wish her all the best in her studies. *hugs*

was loving my dress =D

graceee trying out the IdPhotoMaker app in my phone. haha

me playing with the labelbox app.

camwhore pics

did that scare you?! hehehehhe
playing with edits in photoscape

we were in baby's jurong house. he was opening his mails and i was so bored i started snapping away.

downloaded ipredict app.

really funny stuff.

16th July 2011

Orchard with Baby & Cecilia

perfect night for ice-cream. it was so hot.

the last 3 photos are machiam photography from a MV consisting of Cecilia and i. LOL

19th July 2011

Jayvern made me a 3D paper Bambi!

my bambi is beautiful!

22nd July 2011

then Jayvern made me 3D Little Twin Stars too!

Jayvern is so skillful!

last jpeg of July

i still remember meeting her for the first time like it was yesterday.
it was the first day of school.
we spent our first recess together and she wanted us to be bffs.
she would get annoyed if i ate with other people during recess instead of her alone.
she wanted us to go everywhere together. even to the toilet.
she was the prettiest and smartest girl in our class. the apple of every teacher's eye.
-sigh-

Today, I will be introducing and educating about the 3 Different Levels of Assholes from my own life experience.

1st Level: the asshole who lets himself be stolen by a fat and ugly slut from his prettier girlfriend because their relationship was having problems.

2nd Level: a worse asshole who kisses & tells negative things about his relationship to his slut who stole him.

3rd Level: THE WORST KIND OF ASSHOLE is the one who kisses and tells the negative side of his previous relationship, adds in his own assumptions/lies about the relationship and MIXES IT WITH A LITTLE BIT OF THE TRUTH so that it will seem more believable to the slut who stole him to get her onto his side, invoking her feelings to feel sorry and sympathetic towards him. HE ALSO ALLOWS THE SLUT TO PUBLISH THESE CRAP ONLINE ON HER BLOG.

also, you know what's REALLY DISGUSTING?
assholes of the above-mentioned levels using words, ideas and style of loving he learnt from his previous relationship to seduce and make the slut fall for him.

that's right. mucky kua used my style of loving and my words that i have influenced him with and he picked up from me during our time together and used it on the slut.

CAN MEH? SO MANY LEVELS OF FUCKED UP.

this asshole used to tell me flowery words like i'm the most important person in this world to him, yet now doesn't even respect my feelings. wah, 人格真好!
GOD KNOWS IF THOSE WORDS HE USED ON ME WERE EVEN HIS OWN or did he learnt it from previous girlfriends. -毛站-

there must be a special kind of hell for these assholes to go together with the baby rapists.

here's a photo for recognition. if you see this bastard asshole,

gentlemen, throw him punches for throwing your species' face.

ladies, give a tight slap (or more if you like) like you would give it to a molester

he is an insurance salesman.
since he is capable of all these shit, there must be something extremely wrong with his character.
so don't say i never warn you: don't get your insurance policies from this asshole.

i may have gotten this from his facebook but i have the right to this photo.
i was the one who took it. he was even wearing my hairband for goodness' sake.

one thing really weird about this asshole is that he loves my girl hairbands.
ding dong.

i have always hated that tattoo on him.
my preference of a man has been influenced heavily by my clan.
i like my man with short hair and no impurity and/or contamination on his skin invoked on purpose.

why am i wasting time and typing all these you ask.
i felt a need to clarify myself.
i wasn't even interested in their pathetic little lives anymore.
in fact, have already forgotten them for most parts and maybe even started to have the bud of forgiveness for them in my heart.
UNTIL i saw the monstrous shit the slut had to say.
they can FUCK OFF AND DIE, MAN. FORGIVENESS MY PERKY ASS.

the internet may be vast, but this is sg net. somehow or the other i will find out okay?

i needed photos to base my blog post for last night. where to look for them? facebook, of course.
i had to unravel my block settings and unblock the whole bunch of them. i got my photos but i also came across the slut's blog.
why did i go and view? i wanna know what kind of person she truly is. i wanted to see her command of language to see if she's another incoherent babbling bad grammar eew retard like mucky kua.
honestly, what was i expecting when she's together with mucky kua?
shitasses of the same kind come and shit together.
their command of language will also be shit together.

calling herself 'erain' all over. she's so fat that if she accidentally pricks her finger with a needle, fats will come gushing out all over and cause a flood of fats like the one in orchard.
she should call herself eflood.

so i scanned through really blah entries about inconvenient parking what with having a baby blah blah (why do you even call it a baby? it's a BASTARD coming from parents LIKE YOU ASSHOLES) until i came across a detrimental blog post of me claiming lies and assumptions she was fed by micky about me, claiming that i 'act ke lian'. the slut also claimed that -wait for this- i'm envious of their cheap japan honeymoon and that i am unable to let go of her asshole.

i nearly VOMITED from laughing too hard.

oh, so now she comes up with her own assumptions too.

i can only guess that the fat slut reads my tweets. i haven't been tweeting/talking about them for so long. now then i get a reaction. W-O-L-S.
OR, another possibility lies with this damn KPO girl, Jasmine.
this two-sided kpo girl with nothing better do is a childish friend of mucky kua's younger illegitimate sister ah may kua.
this Jasmine would call me from time to time to gripe about ah may kua, mucky kua, the whole shitty ding dong family and her relationship with her boyfriend. i had things to do but i stayed on the phone to be polite.
fucking waste my time even picking up the phone. DID I SAY I GIVE A DAMN? did i even announced that i want to subscribe to the kua shit news from her?
you see what i mean by the idiot girl being damn kpo? why did she call me? because she wanted to get involved, i'm guessing.
the whole thing over already then she wants to come and chup one leg. why? NOTHING BETTER TO DO, I'M GUESSING AGAIN.
i think she may have done the same thing with the mucky kua's side too.
i have since busted the girl on facebook, blocked her there and blocked her number from my phone.
YOU FUCK OFF, DING DONG GIRL. AND DON'T COME BACK.

whichever way the fat slut and asshole came to read my words, thanks for taking time to pay attention.

the fat slut's right when she said i can't let go.
but it's not her asshole mucky i can't let go. who the fuck would want this anus except her please.
GET THIS STRAIGHT: IT'S THE HURT AND PAIN THEY CAUSED THAT I CAN'T LET GO.

please don't put your asshole on such a high pedestal like the catholics do with their mother mary.
fuckng delusional or you buried your head in the ground like an ostrich?
he is not a consummate mother mucky. he is a shitty cheating blind asshole with no standards whatsoever to speak of. this is supported by the mere fact that he's with you.
i only have so much in my tummy to vomit out. i don't eat a lot like you do. that's why i'm not as fat as you.

you believed he broke up with me before he met you?
ARE YOU THAT DUMB OR YOU PREFER TO LIVE IN A DREAM WORLD MUCKY CREATED FOR YOU?
he cheated on you and me Together.
he was still with me when he started being with you.
if you knew the things your asshole did behind your back with me.
i'm not gonna be so dumb as to type everything specifically out here because i, unlike you, understand what is publishing words in a public space.
unlike you, i understand censorship and protection of privacy.
unlike you and asshole mucky kua, i also at least have a little respect left in me for everyone involved.

自己被騙的團團轉還在鼓掌叫好的笨女人。
没辬法。小王八蛋都笨笨的替他生了。不信也得信了。
女人嫁鳮随鳮，嫁狗随狗。嫁給老鼠就得過老鼠班的生活，得相信老鼠說的謊言。

the cost of going to japan now is like going to thailand (before the flood). on some sites, one can even fly to japan FOR FREE.

STILL SO THICK-SKINNED TO CLAIM PEOPLE JEALOUS OF YOUR CHEAPASS HONEYMOON
HELLO? YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO EUROPE LIKE ME IS IT??
SIAO DING DONG OR FUCKING DELUSIONAL??
i will be going to europe and check out the happiest countries in the world for my honeymoon PLEASE.
if i can possibly remember the way and the location, i would also like to show baby the serizawaminamoto family villa in switzerland. we spent most of our christmases in there until the clan forced me to start putting myself in exile from them.

i barely escaped the last time i flew back from there. i'm in no hurry to get back. what makes you think i wish to return. got people 見過鬼還不怕黑 meh?
also, who knows another calamity may strike again.

i really do hope another earthquake happens again this coming February when the asshole & fat slut are there. the ground cracks open and the asshole and fat slut falls through the gap together and remain there for all eternity near the earth's core.
the shitass anuses really deserve each other like that.

the slut claimed that i'm interested in their little pathetic lives and that i act ke lian.
you want me to be interested? FINE! I'LL PRETEND TO BE INTERESTED TO SATISFY YOUR IMAGINATION.
YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT IS REALLY KE LIAN, NO ACTING INVOLVED?
that is, the fact that they tried to apply for a new HDB project in yishun by the government and they were rejected.
no surprises there.
how can they even afford the mere downpayment when THEY COULDN'T EVEN PAY THEIR OWN HOSPITAL BILLS FOR THE BIRTH OF THEIR BASTARD MOUSE?
they had to get their relative, the asshole's uncle to pay for the birth of their bastard generation.
so how? ask the asshole's uncle pay the downpayment for the hdb too?
that's an idea there.
he has made so much big payments for the shitty family so many times. what is one more?

the asshole & fat slut also had to put up their car for rent to the public for the couple of days they had to go off for having the cheap ass honeymoon.
*applause* smart idea.
helps to pay for the petrol when you return right?
are you REALLY THAT POOR that you can't even leave the car unused for a couple of days? can't maintain the upkeep of your car yourself?

没有那麽大的頭，就別學人家戴那麽大的帽！
if the hat's too big, it will cover your eyes and you will bang your forehead into lamp posts while walking on the streets or buang your car into walls or people while driving.

so how?
am i INTERESTED ENOUGH in your pathetic little lives??
do you want more?

you also claimed that i act ke lian SI BO?
okay lor. I'LL SHOW YOU HOW AWESOME MY ACTING SKILLS ARE OKAY??

i didn't speak about this earlier because i wasn't sure if i wanted to bring that up, nor was i sure if i am ready to.
it isn't exactly a fond memory.
but since the slut wanted this, i'm giving it to her.

if you guys read the entries i posted last year, i was kinda near mental breakdown.
that asshole abused me mentally so much that i eventually couldn't cope and teetered over the edge.

prior to this, we had a big showdown at the asshole's block when i discovered about his fat slut.
the police were called and the slut happily listened to me yelling in pain and anguish from being tortured by the police.
my cries confirmed rang around the entire block and i bet the slut stood there listening getting damn happy that another person is suffering from her actions and selfishness.
now you know what i mean by them having black hearts and intestines.

so anyway, after all of that happened i simply couldn't cope anymore.
i took sleeping pills in front of the asshole and was warded into the hospital.
instead of being real concerned, he got real mad at me FOR DELAYING HIM FROM HIS MEETING WITH HIS FAT SLUT.
while we were waiting for the ambulance to arrive, he scolded me all sorts of vulgarities and railed ugly words at me while i was slumped on the floor looking up helplessly at him.
when the ambulance and the paramedics arrived, he refused to get on the ambulance and accompany me to the hospital. he wanted to leave straight away. the paramedics had to persuade him and convince him to get on the ambulance.
when we reached the hospital, he just left straight away to go meet his fat slut.

Now. i'm not typing this to get any sympathy or have you people pitying me.
my purpose is to show HOW HEARTLESS THIS ASSHOLE CAN GET.
can you trust your money and policies with an asshole like that?
food for thought.

now now. that's not the end of the story.
the next morning, i called the asshole and had to plead for him to visit me at my ward.

go ahead and take some time to digest that.

i called him in the morning and he came at -get this- 6pm.
that's not the most exciting part.
the most exciting part was that HE BROUGHT THE SLUT ALONG.
and left her downstairs.
even my friends who spotted them downstairs went, OMG SHE'S SO UGLY. they even hollered at me with 'ARE YOU SURE SHE'S THE SLUT WHO STOLE YOUR MAN??' as if i could make a mistake like that.
what they said next were nearer to the bullseye. SHE IS SO BUEY PAISEH, still dare to come. even if he wanted to bring her, if she has any brains at all she should have rejected.

i'm not even the least surprised on my part.
THICK-SKINNED WHAT! so many pimple scars on her face already yet she still dared to go out and get a boyfriend from another girl already, still got what she will paiseh about right?
people pretty open mouth minus points. she show her ceebee face already minus points to the deficit.

here you go, fat slut.
you wanted act ke lian. i gave it to you.
go get an oscar for me now.

after all of that, my summer birthday came around.
you know what was even better?
i had a message (can't remember if it was a fb message or a text message) from him. the asshole knew that i wanted to go on the sg flyer for the first time for my summer birthday.
in the message, the asshole apologized fervently to me and pleaded with me to let him take me to the flyer for my summer birthday.
MAJOR PUKE!
what was even more disgusting was that i could sense guilt oozing eminently from his message! he wanted to buy his redemption! WTF.

also, after that i had to attend court from the trouble with the police that the asshole and the slut caused me. seriously, if they didn't start this, why would there be a showdown? if there wasn't a showdown, why would there be the police?
it's a cause and effect logicality.

so anyway, after the first court session mucky kua brought me to a dim sum restaurant in chinatown serving very bland dim sum and i knew that he was trying to erase his guilt.
悪心的要死 can?!?

subsequently, after every court session he would pass me money to take cab home or bring me somewhere like watch a movie.
it was exactly just like going on dates with him when our relationship just started.
while we were on these little 'redemption trips', he would be holding my hands and kissing me...........
i haven't even went into what happened in the movie theater....
THIS WAS AFTER ALL THAT I MENTIONED ABOVE HAD HAPPENED AND HE WAS ALREADY OFFICIALLY GUANG MING ZHENG DA TOGETHER WITH HIS FAT SLUT.

it was a real miracle i didn't throw up on his shirt.
why did i go along with him?
i wanted to commit all these knowledge to stone and know that this asshole can be unfaithful to anyone. even the new slut he lied so hard to get.
so slut, he wasn't 100% faithful to you as you heard from him.
妳以爲他很愛妳啊？PLEASE LOR, he's also another selfish asshole who only wants to secure his own happiness.
he will keep matters he did behind your back from you with this really dumb excuse that he didn't want you to be upset.
simi sai? totally disrespecting a lady in her own right.
the truth is he didn't want you to be upset and then give him trouble!

i was a tool to his happiness.
now you're the new tool to his happiness.
像他這種卑鄙無耻下三滥的人怎麽會真的懂的軆會和愛一個人？他只會爲自己和自己的夢想着想。哪裏可能會真的顧慮到妳？
that was exactly how i felt the last time when i was with him before everything happened but i refused to acknowledge the truth i felt.
just like the fat slut, i was living in a dream world with my head buried in the sand like an ostrich.

now it's MY TURN TO THINK THAT YOU'RE KE LIAN being stuck with such a lousy guy like this asshole while i'm being with a much better man.
now you don't have to act ke lian i will also ke lian you.
LOL

by the way.
here's a solution to your inconvenient parking at yishun blk 114.
inconvenient to park far and walk with a 'baby' along?
(btw, Slut. the word is 'inconvenient', not 'inconvenience'. you're using it as an adjective. not a noun.)

FUCK THE BASTARD AND THEN THROW IT OUT OF THE WINDOW

there. PROBLEM SOLVED.

it's so ugly anyway. don't bother keeping it. nothing good will come from it with having evil asshole parents like you.
i don't even remember mucky kua looking that ugly in his baby photos. in all fairness, he was a good-looking and cute baby.
this means YOUR GENES SUCK.
the bastard even inherited your small slitty puffy eyes. FuckHisLife, seriously.

yes, i have to admit that the asshole was a good-looking. hey, come on. I HAVE STANDARDS. I USED TO THINK HE HAD TOO. until he proved me wrong settling down with a fat ugly slut.
and how was i to know that he has an evil heart underneath all that good looks and fake intentions?

don't bother me asking for his baby photo album.
i've thrown it away together with the god-awful jacket.

ugly people shouldn't be allowed to procreate. there should be a law that ugly and wtf people should be arrested and released only after they have undergone surgery to have their reproduction tubes tied.
evil people with wtf actions should also be treated the same way or their babies will have to deal with their karma from the moment they are born. 你保護的了一時，保護不了一世 because you will still die and meet your deserved judgement one day.
you can start praying to your pagan idols and do more kind deeds like your pagan religion tells you to. maybe you will have a chance of breaking your karma.

so better watch the words you say/type, the things you do. 小心報復在你的小王八身上。

龍生龍，鳳生鳳。
老鼠生出來的老鼠會打洞！
你的小王八上輩子不知造了甚麽孽，有像你們這麽黑心肝的父母已經是三生不興了。
所以最好是做事小心一點，說話小心一點。給你的小王八老鼠多積一點德！

he used to say he loved me so much lah, willing to do this and that for me lah, willing to change himself to the person i will love lah, said he wants to protect me, wants to be the most important person in my world (i know, all the usual chase girl rubbish you heard before RIGHT!?) and now he doesn't even care about my feelings and privacy as a normal person. WAH. SIBEI FULL OF TRASH ONLY.

SO MUCH GARBAGE WORDS. the idioms that go "empty vessels make the most noise" and "real men let their actions speak louder than words" have proved themselves umpteen times to be most true.

no wonder my baby doesn't promise me anything. but when i ask for anything, he will give me if he is able to.
HE SHOWS HIS LOVE FOR ME THROUGH HIS ACTIONS. NOT LIKE SOME ASSHOLE ONLY KNOW HOW TO QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK.

MAY BE the asshole did love me a little. but he was useless and worthless against the test of time and challenges.
don't count on him to build a taj mahal to prove the love that he quacks to have.

the asshole already caused pain to the girl yet still doesn't show respect for her, her privacy, his relationship with her and the privacy of their relationship.

the fat slut is lagi bagus. she knows that she has caused pain to another person. the both of them have built their happiness on another person's misery.
still ay other people childish, IF SHE WAS REALLY MATURE ENOUGH SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN TO SHUT THE FUCK UP, KEEP HER WORTHLESS COMMENTS TO HERSELF. NOT REACT TO WHATEVER I SAY because she should know that she was the one who did wrong.
what she should be spending her time doing instead is 求神拜佛，多做善事 so she can have a chance of breaking her karma from avenging it on her little bastard.

then again, if they are that considerate, they wouldn't have created this entire drama and shown their true colors as asshole and slut.

like i said to the slut, 不要臉的賤女人。做錯事還敢在那裏呱哩呱叫個不停。
這種品德怎麽爲人母。 oh, i'm sorry. my mistake. you're not 爲人母。你們這俩個狗男女，只會生小王八蛋 so you are 爲畜牲母！

can you even believe that the slut is a Nurse?
a care-giver at that.
WHERE DID SHE EVEN GET A HEART TO CARE FOR PEOPLE IN GENERAL?
i told her in the comment i left for her blog post that it's a fucking miracle that her patients did not die or deteriorate under her care and i meant it.

then again, i'm not surprised.
everyone and everything can be exploited for monetary gains in this era.
everyone can be a mercenary with their skills.
even the ones with a black heart will pretend to care as long as it gives them an income.
people can be good at their jobs and their characters still suck big-time.

the nursing course in poly should have given aptitude tests for their applicants.

THEN AGAIN, i doubt it would have worked.
the slut would have been able to bluff her way through it.
how else were there horrible bitches in my early childhood course.
no wonder kids nowadays are so wtf. because they have wtf teachers.

okay, the photo really gives me the creeps. the way he looked at my camera (okay, his camera. but i was holding it. it's a figure of speech). as if he was fond of me. it was fine then. now it makes me wanna PUKE. good thing it's at the bottom of the post. useless piece of shit.

baby says i shouldn't react and ignore them in all future.
i'm gonna do that and enjoy my time with him.
heck, i should be using the time i typed this to play with him or study with him next to me or watch a movie with him.
they're probably fucked and having orgasms from my attention and words.

i bet there will be another post from them coming up about this.
如果說我的狗嘴吐不出象牙，那你的賤嘴就吐的出象牙 lor?
whatever shit you do or say, it will be met with IGNORANCE & HECK CARE. provoke all you want, i won't even be looking for your shit so it'll be like words falling on deaf bland walls.
還是那句話：求神拜佛，多做善事。說話小心一點。給你的小王八老鼠多積一點德！小心你的報應報在它身上。

原來容忍不需要天份只要愛錯一個人

2011-11-12T21:48:00.003+08:00

每一次的分離，就是爲了等待重逢的一刻
休息就是爲了要走更長遠的路
我們在壓力中成長，走的路會有點艱難
可是有你陪我走，這條路一定會好走

pretty happy tonight. baby granted me my craving for my favorite almond magnum ice-cream. i have yet to try the new caramel flavor so i was actually quite torn between my almond and the caramel.
still got my old favorite back in the end. reckoned caramel might be too sweet.

there you go. easily contented PRINCESS LAYLA. lol

my hairdryer died today. it has been hanging by the line these couple of weeks and today, it finally passed away.
it wasn't a peaceful death though. i just don't wanna go into it.
baby got me a better hairdryer with ion.

below: the hairdryer i was using previously.

i swear it's mad lousy.

i shouldn't have been so nice to micky when he took me to get the previous hairdryer.
i was so nice. i didn't want him to spend too much and chose a cheap one. it was $25 or $28 i supposed? i was given the choice of a more expensive hairdryer that produces ion to soften my hair and make it healthier. but no, i was nice enough to choose the cheaper one because he had offered to buy a replacement for me when my first hairdryer spoilt.

see? i used to be nice. until i met fucking assholes like micky kua.

if you're curious after reading the above passages:
if you have been reading my blog since the jurassic age (of my blog, that is), you may have read about micky kua.
before i had my baby fiance, micky kua was my boyfriend.
he was UNTIL HE CHEATED ON ME WITH A FAT GIRL.
what do you call girls like her? SLUTS, that's what.

as a guy, it's a golden rule NEVER STEAL YOUR FRIEND'S GIRL.
it's different for a girl.
the golden rule, and it's UNIVERSAL, for girls is NEVER STEAL ANOTHER GIRL'S MAN. even though you may not know the girl at all.
for girls who steal their friends' or sisters' boyfriends, they're lower than the low-lives feeding on the algae at the bottom of the sea.
even if the slut insisted that she didn't steal the man from another girl, she should have waited until the coast is clear. that the man is no longer entangled in any issues.

when i addressed her with her proper salutation 'Slut' to micky kua, he started jumping up and down in his seat and threw tantrum like a bloody snotty 3 year-old. you'd think someone had called his mum a slut when he was 3.

also, OF ALL TYPES OF GIRLS TO GO FOR HE HAD TO GO FOR A FUCKING FAT & UGLY ONE.

i mean, compared to me, she is very fat and ugly. her thighs are like, 1.5 times of mine each and she has pimple-scarred skin.
a girl's prettiest feature is her smile.
but even this is no saving grace for this slut.
this is what i honestly swear-by-oath think she looks like when she smiles.

don't believe? see for yourself

take a look at those shifty sleet eyes. one can put eggs into those eyebags.

why are those eyes puffy all the time? is she recovering from someone's punch in her eye or something.

if you beg to differ, everyone is entitled to one's own opinions.

asshole's face is censored because i don't ever want to see his face shitting up my blog. it's shitty enough that my dear princesslayla.net has to endure a peanut fat face.

in case, reader thinks i am being biased, here is proof that she is fat and her 1 single thigh is 1.5 times of mine.

SERIOUSLY, WAS HE FUCKING KIDDING ME? showing me that i'm no better than a fat & ugly slut? i wasn't dead okay? even if i was dead, he shouldn't insult my memory like that right?

anyway, cut the long story short because i don't want to defile my blog with them any further.
the fat slut knew he had a girlfriend/still being embroiled in a relationship issue and she still listened to his flowery words to be with him. that's how slutty she is. end of story.

DISCLAIMER: i am not blogging about the shithead and his fat slut because i am still hung over the shithead.

why would i be hung over shitheads? 他們是哪根葱啊？
PLEASE TAKE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT MY BABY.
TALLER, MUCH BETTER-LOOKING AND MUCH MORE CAPABLE TO TAKE CARE OF ME AND KEEP UP WITH MY INTELLIGENCE.
i'm speaking the truth. seriously not being biased. i can swear by oath, nothing but the truth about my baby being better.

i can only upgrade.
no DOWNGRADING for me like mucky kua.

I DIGRESS. the reason these shit people are being brought up is to bring an end to the previous chapter for this blog. my friend said it's frustrating to read my blog entries have no endings to what happened. i'm trying to be better at keeping a blog. she's right. i hate stories without a suitable ending, too.

i'm having a major headache right now.
the headache developed while i was playing diablo ii with baby.
i just started today. baby is mad happy. we've been playing for most of the day and then the entire evening upon returning from dinner and grocery shopping.
baby needs a playmate and besides being his lady, i fill in his slot of a playmate.
i'm a bimbo. not a gaming girl. i don't play rpg games on pc. the characters are too small and the graphics are so hard to discern. (that's where the headache comes from).
however, as long as baby is happy, 我無所謂。
so i traipse around medieval woods and encampments as a sorceress until the headache kicks in and i beg for a break.
is it any wonder my character keeps dying? LOL.

i need to stop playing and start doing some of those mock test papers.

When we touch, I melt like butter

2011-11-10T23:12:00.002+08:00

in the glow of those twinkling lights
we shall love through eternity
on this night in a million nights
fly away with me

new bee in my bonnet: migration. to one of the happiest countries in the world.

jpeg below is the table of the happiest countries in the world ranking from forbes.

i'm gonna try Rank No. 1 Denmark to No. 12 Brazil.
i rather fancy the Spanish language.

i used to despise Singaporeans who migrated or are migrating to another country, abandoning the homeland.
however, it seems that i might be jumping on their wagon too.
i may change my mind again but for now i'm madly disappointed with Singapore.
everyone in here is screwing up the country. especially the civil servants.
everyone's scared to die, scared of losing out, inconsiderate and selfish.
seriously, what kind of fucked up country is this that we will rank 81st on the world's happiest countries chart.

growing up here has made my personality become like theirs. scared of this, that.
bloody results-oriented society we are functioning in. the process has cease to matter.
no matter what, when or where, we always have to cover our ass about everything.
my personality and character used to be soft as water. living within this society has made them hard as stone.

i don't wanna have my children here.
send them to singapore schools where people compare grades like no tomorrow.
if i let them grow up here like the other children here, they become spoilt and pampered.
if i let them grow up here the way baby wants it, they are going to compare why other kids are always better off than them.
i don't wanna raise them in a culture of results, maids, cartoon craze (think pokemon, power rangers, teletubbies last time), lcd monitors, tv, internet, money money money and the list goes on. i'll end up a control freak mama.

i've made up my mind to visit the top-ranking happiest countries in the world and made a decision which country to settle down in.
so far, i've only read up on bhutan.
most things are natural there. its people are governed by bhutanese law to wear traditional clothes. no rubbish about fashion trends.
the standard of living may not be as high or as comfortable as singapore but the people are happy. they don't have to toil their fields for commercial farming. large families live together because there is space to build bigger living quarters, unlike the matchbox of hdb apartments we are being sold for a humongous price by our government.
television and internet are allowed but not encouraged. even the king and queen shares a tv and laptop between themselves.

in bhutan, it's constitutional monarchy. in singapore, the game is democracy.
by theory, the singapore government is voted in and thus employed by people like me to serve us. but honestly, i don't feel being served at all. in fact, i've been bullied by civil servants who laud that they're civil servants and trample over citizens to get their selfish ways.
the government is supposed to be us. in that theory, the civil servants are also employed by us. i don't remember employing such shitty servants.
then again, these civil servants are also part of singapore's citizens.
wtf. this is like a case of bloody civil war. 自己人打自己人。

i just wanna extract myself from these shit.

i don't need to return to my natal family and be bestowed with riches for my return. i know full well the price i have to pay. i am not a tool to fine tune your networking connections (yawns) or a bloody chess piece to march on a human chessboard.

i don't need a lot of materialistic things, makeup or branded stuff.
i'm fine with wearing the traditional clothings everyday like every other people. it makes me feel unified.
i don't need everything like most people do. where the heck am i going to put them?

no, what i want is to be protected.
not to feel ashamed by the rubbish a leader of my country spouts in the parliament.
able to have access to my country's leaders easily when i have a problem i need their help to solve, irregardless of which bloody grc the address on my IC reflects. save the bureacracy for the toilet.
i don't want to be worried about rising costs of living.
i don't want to live in a society where the system forces family members to turn on one another because of greed.
i don't want to stay in a country where the law is used against the people it is supposed to protect by people who has in-depth understanding about it, or be bullied by people employed the government i have helped to vote in.

i'll be fine with a lower standard of living like bhutan, as long as i can be happy.

but i doubt bhutan will accept me.
bhutan restricts incoming foreigners like no tomorrow.
to get into bhutan, unless one is national indian or national chinese, one has to sign up a tour package. it costs USD300 for each day one is in bhutan.
i think this is one of the keys to their happiness. shutting out the foreign and isolating the country. keeping foreigners out and having their homeland to themselves.
just take a look at singapore.
i wanna turn back time to when we were untroubled by how uncouth and uncivil we were treated by foreigners in public places and public transports.

bhutan has its own state religion. some manifesto of Buddhism. different from the kind i've seen in singapore or japan.
i don't know if Christianity is accepted there.
i don't wanna sign up for something like china's underground christianity.

i'm also sick and tired of this racial tolerance whatever shit it is.
some race is so bloody sensitive. everyone has to watch they say because of them. i don't see my race and other races getting all bloody cooked up over a word or words people say.
when will they learn that it's all in their minds?
you are the one who allows how much a person says gets to you.
dark/fair, yellow/brown/pink/green/honey. these are just descriptive words.
when a person says 'fair skin', 'yellow skin', 'brown skin', 'dark skin'. those are just ADJECTIVES. DESCRIPTIVE WORDS.
not everyone meant to be racist like you think.

so sensitive, might as well go back to your ancestor's country where everyone is like you lah.
you think i don't know that even you think that being fair skin is good?
i've watched movies of your language. when there is a new baby, everyone will gush over how fairer the baby is than its brother/sister.
please lah, it's your own race obsessing over the skin color. don't blame your inferiority complex onto other innocent people like us please. you're putting your fellows to shame.
i know people of your race who are much better and easier to get along than you. i wish everybody of your race is like them.

baby doesn't want to come with me.
he said singapore hasn't pissed him off like she has pissed me off yet.
he thinks he's contented here.
i don't and won't be able to understand how he can be contented with his cashcard reader in the car beeping repeatedly in the mornings just by getting to work alone.
有銭也不是這樣花 leh.
might as well let me go shopping with it. i can buy hot clothes and wear it out with him. at least give him more face and pride than a beeping cashcard reader right?

done ranting.
imma do more reading up on the countries i'm going.

June 2011

bear rings from NEX

Rings from KandyKayne

Inspired Vivienne Westwood Armor Ring by Mychou

FYI: i have a ring fetish.

16th June 2011

colleagues and i visit pipit and her first baby at thomson medical centre maternity ward

extremely tak glam me in a school uniform. LOL

Pipit's baby: Eric Raphael Gunawan

squealing at babies' kawaiiness through the glass window of the baby-viewing room.

i believe the glass is soundproof. haha

17th June 2011

accidentally pumped a heart-shaped out of vaseline cocoa butter hand cream

had to take a photo of it. LOL

18th June 2011

Baby's Army Friend's 21st Birthday

29th June 2011

commemoration

i'd never thought i would one day buy and pay for my own insurance.
daddy's family and mummy had always done that for me.
now that i have distanced myself from them, i have to start doing it myself.

this is to commemorate me paying for my first ever insurance (lots of riders!) like a real adult. hehe

‘You don’t have to worry about me. Mum and Dad pretty much let me go wherever I wanted. I used to spend the entire day in town with my friends. I even went to London one day with my friend. We were over and back in a day. Her dad has his own jet. It was totally cool. There were only, like, six seats and it was just for me and Emily – that’s the girl whose plane it was. Then for her seventeenth birthday her parents let us all fly to Paris. Her older sister came with us to keep an eye on us, though. She was nineteen, in college and everything.’

She listened intently; far too eagerly, too anxiously, too quickly, far too desperately.

‘Oh, isn’t that lovely,’ she said brightly, her green eyes hungry for all the words that came from my mouth. I could see her gobbling them up as son as I’d said them. ‘Your birthday isn’t far off. Is that the kind of thing you’d get for your birthday?’ She looked around the hallway of the gatehouse as if she might find a plane in there somewhere. ‘Well, we wouldn’t be able for the likes of that . . .’

‘No, no, that’s not what I meant. That’s not why I told you the story. It was just . . . it doesn’t matter, Rosaleen,’ I said quickly. ‘I’d better go.’ I pushed past her to get to the door. ‘Thanks, though.’ I said. The last thing I saw before I closed the door was her concerned look, as though she’d said something wrong. Worrying about what their life could and couldn’t offer me. Turns out my old life was offering me more than it could, anyway. Like a desperate lover it was offering me the moon and stars when it knew there was no way it could ever deliver. I stupidly believed it. I used to think that it was better to have too much than too little, but now I think if the too much was never supposed to be yours, you should just take what is yours and give the rest back. I’ll take Rosaleen and Arthur’s simplicity any day. That way, you never have to give back the things you love.

- Cecilia Ahern, The Book of Tomorrow

watch you slip away like butterflies

2011-11-08T21:00:00.001+08:00

I get amnesia
When I'm standing next to you

feeling a little better today. emotionally & physically.
i still have to take care of my keropok cough or i'll be losing my voice.
i'm already halfway there. i kinda worsen my condition having roti prata & milo dinosaur last night.

i'm hooked onto this song right now.
playing it on repeat in my itunes

I saw him standin' there
In the parkin' lot
He asked if I came here a lot
And this is how I responded

I forgot my name
I forgot my telephone number
If he wanna see me
He don't even know it
I forgot my address
Damsel in distress
I forgot my boyfriend
Was the one that had bought me this bra

I get amnesia
When I'm standin' next to you-ou-ou
He's been with me for several years
I know this much is true
Didn't know it was over
'Til you came on over
And told me that you just, just can't
Forget about me

I talk to my girls
I can talk to my girls like crazy
To anyone, I speak my mind
I tell them mother don't phase me
I'm not lazy
But boy, lately
When I see you, I stu-utter
Watch you slip away like butterflies

I saw you standin' there
In the VIP on Friday
We conversate up in my
Fantasies like, every day
But I'm a dud
Whenever you approach
Like yesterday when you just
Came to say hello

I talk to most guys
I can talk to most guys like crazy
To anyone, I'll speak my mind
I tell them mother don't phase me
But you shake me
Boy, you make me
St-o-o-o-op and stutter
When we touch, I melt like butter

I saw you standin' there
In the VIP on Saturday
Now that I know you got a
Thing for me, I should be straight
Not the kinda girl who'll just let
Any guy get close
I like him so I'm gon' tell my guy
He should just effin' go

I thought this whole thing – finding out who I am – was the purpose for the diary. I thought after the fire the diary would become a notepad again and I would have returned it to the travelling library and replaced it to the non-fiction shelf and allowed somebody else to benefit from it. But I can’t do it. I can’t let it go. It continues to tell me about tomorrow and I continue to live it and sometimes I try to live it better.

I closed the diary, left the castle and made my way toward the orchard where I’d arranged to meet Weseley by the apple tree with the engravings.

‘Uh-oh,’ he said eyeing the diary under my arm. ‘What now?’

‘Nothing bad.’ I sat down beside him on a blanket.

‘I don’t believe you. What is it?’

‘It’s actually about you and me,’ I laughed.

‘What about us?’

I raised my eyebrows suggestively at him.

‘Oh, no!’ He threw his arms up dramatically. ‘So now, as well as saving you from burning house, I have to kiss you?’

I shrugged. ‘Whatever.’

‘Where does it happen? Here?’

I nodded.

‘Okay. So.’ He looked at me seriously.

‘So,’ I replied. I cleared my throat. Readied myself.

‘Does it say that I kiss you or that you kiss me?’

‘You definitely kiss me.’

‘Okay.’

He was silent for a moment then he leaned in and kissed me tenderly on the lips. In the middle of the most luscious nicest kiss I’d ever had, he opened his eyes and pulled away.

‘You just made that up, didn’t you?’ he asked, eyes wide.

‘What do you mean?’ I laughed.

‘Tamara Goodwin, you just made that up!’ he grinned. ‘Give me that book.’ He swiped it from my hands and pretended to hit me over the head with it.

‘We have to make our own tomorrows, Weseley,’ I teased. I fell back on the blanket and looked up at the apple tree that had seen so much.

Weseley leaned over me, our faces closed together, our noses almost touching.

‘What did it really say?’ he asked softly.

‘That I think it’ll all be okay. And that I’ll write again tomorrow.’

‘You always say that.’

‘And I always do.’

‘Are you ready?’ he asked, studying me closely.

‘I think so,’ I whispered.

‘Right.’ He sat up and pulled me up with him. ‘I brought this.’

He took a clear plastic bag from beside him and held it open. I dropped the diary in. Reluctantly at first, then as soon as it was in, I knew it was the right decision.

He wrapped the diary up in the plastic bag and handed it back to me.

‘You do it.’

I looked up at the apple tree, at the engravings of the names of my Mum, Laurie, Arthur, Rosaleen and the dozens of others who had so many hopes for tomorrow under this tree, and then I kneeled down and placed the diary in the hole that Weseley had dug and we filled it again with soil.

I didn’t lie when I said I couldn’t let it go. I can’t let it go. Not completely. Maybe some day when I’m in trouble again I’ll dig it up and see what it has to say. But in the meantime, I’ll have to find my own way.

Thanks for reading my story. I’ll write again tomorrow.

THE END

- Cecilia Ahern, The Book of Tomorrow

even the best of moons will be tinged with sadness

2011-11-07T22:18:00.000+08:00

颤抖的脣等不到你的脗
一個容易受慯的女人
希望希望希望你會心疼
我害怕一個人

i really don't feel like blogging but i have to. right now, it seems to be all i can do to make it up to baby. i feel obliged to blog.
baby believes that we can recoup what we lost through my blogging. i don't know if my words are actually that powerful. i'm very realistic. i know i'm not xiaxue.blogspot.com.

i'm super sick to my bones right now. i woke up this morning with a chilling ache all over my body, thinking 'uh-oh.'
last night coughing only, now fever comes knocking on my body's door too.

i can feel the chill in my bones and in my joints. i can taste metal in my mouth and my tongue feels heaty. when i cough, my throat makes keropok noises.
the only blessings are that i don't feel nauseous yet and NO RUNNING NOSE. YES, THANK GOD. HALLELUJAH. a blocked nose is the most torturing and annoying thing Ever when you're dying for a good sleep because of your fever.
the previous time i had fever, i puked like nobody's business. then again, that was because baby fed me a wrong dose of gassy medicine. the pill was supposed to be dissolved in a small cup but he went and prepared a big cup of gassy medicine for me. when i protested that the drink wasn't supposed to be so much, he insisted that he was right about it and insisted that i drink the medicine. man's ego?
groggy me listened to him. i ended up puking right on the bed halfway through the cup. THANKS.

anyway, this post is not for me to gripe about my baby.
he is a very good man. he has helped me so much.
except that he can be stubborn, egoistical and doesn't want understand my point of view most of the time (is that under egoistical as well?).
he is helpful but he always complain about helping me. always make me feel bad. sometimes i feel like getting away from him until i miss him again.

self-consolation: i'm not perfect too.

more of than not, western doctors advise fever patients to shower with cold water to bring the temperature down.
tonight, while taking a bath, i thought about that advice. but my body was so cold and aching from the cold. the last thing i want to do is douse myself with cold water. so cold already, still splash self with cold water. might as well go stand in the cold rain better. free of charge.
one is already uncomfortable from being feverish. surely last thing we want to do is make self even more uncomfortable. don't know why western medicine believes in the cold shower method. retarded much?

i had to skip the morning appointment and slept through most of the day before finally feeling well enough to get up and prepare for school.
i wanna thank my good classmate Angela. she is such a kind mummy. she was already running late for class after work but she still buys something for the lecturer's and my stomachs. she is so sweet. such an angel like her name.

she bought me popiah. if not for her, i may have had difficulty focusing in class due to my grumbling tummy.
there was a little chilli in popiah. i don't take spice but i still ate it anyway to appreciate the trouble she went through. quite touched by her thoughtfulness and kindness.
i was ill but she made me feel a little better.
thanks, Angela.

May 2011

19th May 2011
Meeting up with long-lost friend Isabel

before going out to meet belbel

our hilarious whatsapp after parting ways

msn chatting with brandon in the office

lol

baby bought new mouse for himself after giving me his little white mouse.

容易受慯的女人

有心人兒用情深緊緊追缘共度今生
此刻不需再离分讓夢幻都變真
曾經相愛過的人淚眼訴說亳無缘份
愛你愛得那樣深心碎也更深

情人難求愛人總是難留我是容易受慯的女人
無情无愛无缘无奈的心能不能過一生

誰會珍惜誰又懂得接受這個容易受慯的女人
癡癡等到何時有情人

火熱的心會變冷而我依然那麽認真
夜深人寂只留我慯心的女人

有心人兒用情深緊緊追缘共度今生
此刻不需再离分讓夢幻都變真

曾經相愛過的人淚眼訴說亳無缘份
愛你愛得那樣深心碎也更深

情人難求愛人總是難留我是容易受慯的女人
無情无愛无缘无奈的心能不能過一生

誰會珍惜誰又懂得接受
這個容易受慯的女人癡癡等到何時有情人

火熱的心會變冷而我依然那麽認真
夜深人寂只留我慯心的女人

情人難求愛人總是難留我是容易受慯的女人
無情无愛无缘无奈的心能不能過一生

誰會珍惜誰又懂得接受
這個容易受慯的女人癡癡等到何時有情人

火熱的心會變冷而我依然那麽認真
夜深人寂只留我慯心的女人

Even the Best of Moons

2011-11-06T00:42:00.005+08:00

因爲你是我
生命中的所有
將我的心放在你手中
陪你到永久

i haven't been in a blogging mood lately.
below blog post was done on 22 Oct.
procrastinated again.
a lot has happened since the day i left blogger.com
been melancholic & depressed over them.
it's so bad that i can't sleep at night.
most depressing thing is, i have no wish to share it here or to anyone.
i've told my baby yet he doesn't understand.
i give up.

i used to blab my happenings to everyone and everywhere but as time goes by, i've actually gone more private than i'd never know i would be.
it's not the fear of gossip.
i find it more of waste of breath and waste of time.
even if i spend the effort and time talking about it, my audience wouldn't be able to help. so i've stopped sharing anything to anyone unless i think that the person would be able to help me or he/she is someone close to me and would actually want to help/comfort.

but i would like to thank eugene teh for being there for me on the day when i needed a friend.

thanks, eugene. hugs.

i just downloaded another of my childhood song: 容易受伤的女人

the songs of my childhood are mostly japanese folk songs sang to children, chinese melancholy songs of the nineties or eighties and the upbeat hokkien disco songs my grandma used to blast from her radio in the kitchen while she did her housework in the daytime.

i have absolutely no idea of the japanese folk songs titles & lyrics. the women, my obaasama & nanny, who sang these songs to me are dead.
the chinese 90s songs were influenced by my aunties & uncles i lived with in singapore grandparents' flat. i was at an impressionable age then and the songs the adults in the house listened to stuck in my mind even til now.

i used to be able to sing EVERY SINGLE hokkien song of my grandma's hokkien cassettes. a child's memory is better than anyone else's. also, my grandma blasted her cassettes every single day. if i didn't remember the lyrics and the tunes, i must be retarded.

of the hokkien songs, i can only now remember the ti orh orh (sky black black).
i love the part where the song lyrics go 'ah gong ah bey chi giam ah, ah ma bey chi jiat. neng eh sio pak chong pua kia, PING PONG PIANG!'
this was especially true of my grandparents who always used to fight fiercely over everything. their tempers were so short and so bad that i felt like i was living with a tiger and a lion in the house. i was the spectator and my unmarried aunties and uncles were the zoo keepers. LOLOL.
i know my grandparents always fought but i also know that they had stayed faithful to each other. i have witnessed it before and i have never heard my maternal family members saying my grandpa slept with another woman, which as family goes, my mother's family is pretty quite the big-mouth no-privacy type.

baby has work and i have a morning appointment for my matters tomorrow.
i HATE stuff happening in the morning but i hope everything will come to a head soon so i can bury the matters deep in the ground like one does to a deceased of an infectious disease.
my baby is no help. the only things he did were saying things that made me even more depressed and preventing me from spending money. even on food. he's got us eating instant noodles everyday. i have to plead to be able to get a plate of chup cai ben.

one can't blame him. i'm not earning now to focus on my studies and our overhead expenses are pretty high.
baby had to spent $80 at the doctor's today. he's having a cold cos he has been working so hard on a project at work. he has been coughing for several days now and sometimes even into my face. sometimes when he speaks to me, his saliva gets onto my face. annoying max.
so now i've gotten his cough too and i have to go to a polyclinic and waste my time waiting because we can't afford to have two of us going to a private doctor like the last time.
but i can't go to the polyclinic either. there's only $3 in my bank account right now. HAHA. and i have gotta buy medicine for my awful skin again. imma have to break into my savings for that. i cannot not do it. coping with my skin is an ongoing thing.
these hereditary skin condition and hereditary sclerosis from daddy are the bane of my life. i spend most of my time and money trying to maintain and cope with the ache, the pain, the inconveniences and the annoyance these two conditions cause.

i thought i could do with residing in baby's family's jurong flat to save our costs, but i am madly put off every single time i am there by the strong smell of urine in the kitchen and the dust on every surface in the flat. a couple of months ago, there was even this smell of vomit in his and his grandfather's room. there is also no proper bed to sleep on if we move there and there are bulks of rubbish in plastic bags everywhere. half the room is occupied by stuff Nobody uses at all.

note: what i meant by a proper bed is at least a half-decent mattress that can support my poor back. my spine is curved as it is already. let's not make it any more curved.
these "rubbish" may be stuff but nobody has used them for so long and baby says we're not to clear them up. i'm kinda apprehensive that his mum is going to move all those rubbish to their new flat in yishun.
it's a new house. let's start over without the rubbish.
you have passed your days for so long without touching them, so apparently you don't and won't need them.

disclaimer:
i would like to stress that i am not criticizing here. i am merely stating FACTS.

baby doesn't mind because it's his home and he grew up in this environment, but i didn't. i grew up in a cleaner home because my mummy maintains our home, wiping, dusting, moping and sweeping. i help her with the laundry and sometimes the wiping. i was just brought up differently like that but baby. he would criticize me for the fact that i like to be hygienic, which he terms as a "luxury".
=/ that is so unreasonable of him.

thank you for reading my rant.
i will rant again tomorrow.

WWW.PRINCESSLAYLA.NET

2011-10-22T23:18:00.001+08:00

if i could only stop the car
and hold onto you,
and never let go

my baby has bought me my own domain url!
this is PRINCESS LAYLA's publishing her first blog entry on her new domain for the first time =D

i miss PRINCESSLAYLA.CO.NR but i am pleased with my WWW.PRINCESSLAYLA.NET

the "www" is essential to getting to this site. PRINCESSLAYLA.NET alone won't work.
this is because i'm using blogger.
other blog sites like nirachan.net, celestechen.com, nicolechen.net, nansea.net are using wordpress and tumblr, thus they're allowed to go without the www.

baby is now building me an entire whole blog system and site.
i just need to find a designer.
-excited-

my baby is so sweet.
he always give me his best, put his trust in me and has confidence in me.
though i have no guarantee that i can even have a lot of blog hits, he has never once went, 'get your blog hits up first then i'll invest time to build the system for you.'
time is the precious thing a person has and he devotes his to me and his work.

although i dare say i haven't even have had one blog hit. i've stopped blogging for so long and i'm lagging far far far behind.

i just installed a counter, so we shall see if there are actually any hits on my page at all.

April Fool's Day

The BlogShop was having a retweet lucky draw in twitter last March. they announced the winners on April Fool's Day and i was one of the winners! =D

it wasn't my first time winning something, but i was still excited and overjoyed nonetheless.

3rd April 2011 Notification of Prize Arrival

5th April 2011 PRIZES ARRIVAL!!! ROARRRRR!!

i was given 2 tops, a polka dots miniskirt, a dress, photo frames, candies, & these 2 exquisite musical toys that plays tinkling tunes when their handles are turned.

quite pleased. doesn't really matter what it is, i'm appreciative of gifts.

8th April 2011

cheap & lovely white maxi dress from chinatown

14th April 2011
when i was with Rubicon Offshore, i had the opportunity to be acquainted with a lovely and intelligent A'levels student, Grace & our mutual friend & colleague, Brandon.
(i totally forgot Brandon's name & had to refer back to my photos. i remember i had edited his name in my photos. thank god. if not i would have to scroll through my friends' names in my phone contacts trying hard to remember what was his name. LOL.)

15th April was Grace's last day with Rubicon and we had photos galore at lunchtime on both 14th & 15th.

i miss the both of them ='(
they were damn fun to be with.
we were always bitching & teasing each other.

LOL we were trying to get an impromptu photo of the guy at vivo giant.

15th April 2011

Grace's Last Day at Rubicon

making our special type of oatmeal together in the pantry for the last time.

grace is really good at mixing up the oats, milk & sugar together. i'd be having difficulty maneuvering my mix with the spoon cos it's so niam (sticky) and she'd offer to help me and get it done in a flurry, no problem.

Lunchtime at Vivo Burger King with Brandon, Jere & pretty Felicia~

us with our free sundaes

we went out to the alfresco tables to enjoy our sundaes while watching kids play with the water.

balancing grace's camera precariously on a water spurting wall. we were kinda worried for this photo yet at the same time didn't want to trouble any strangers to help us with a group photo. my heart was kinda in my mouth for grace's camera when we were posing.

in the end i sacrificed myself. LOL

finally troubled a stranger to help us..

i really miss all of us together. they are great people =)

18th April 2011

Minghui gifted me with her childhood Polly Pockets.

yo, man. these stuff is PRECIOUS! better than gold to me!
one can always find gold on the market if one has money but one can't find polly pockets in the market anymore no matter how much you have unless you have connections. you know people who have polly pockets and have not given them away or thrown them away or damaged them.

the mansion with a swimming pool

how about a date at the pizza place?

the little school house

jacuzzi

mini carnegie

mini carnegie's piano can be taken out and worn as a ring

a Princess' Palace

Princess Ariel's Palace

bungalow for the rich & famous

all the accessories heaped underneath the mansion with the swimming pool polly pocket

a pretty Princess wagon

can be opened up too!

when mummy & i moved to our new place in Punggol 8 years ago, i was bought my own Chippendale desk.
the design equipped the desk with many many secret drawers. i was mad pleased.
the Chippendale desk reminded me of the Polly Pockets i never had.
the magic of shifting and opening up spaces to reveal pleasant surprises.

19th April 2011

i bought a multi-box from artbox bishan to keep my knick-knacks organized on my table =D

20th April 2011

spotted a hilarious status on my facebook timeline by Adrian

26th April 2011

chatting with Brandon on msn.
the dude was telling me that he was leaving to enjoy himself before his enlistment starts

LOL

baby and i re-watched Fearless tonight.
i had this sudden yearning to listen to Huo Yuan Jia 霍元甲 on repeat while i was editing photos.
when baby came home, i asked him to re-watch the movie with me.
so sad and tragic when the turned-over-a-new-leaf hero was poisoned by the jealous and mercenaries.

May photos next round.

“You have no idea how much the last few days have meant to me,” I began. “Meeting you has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” I hesitated, knowing that if I stopped now, I’d never be able to say it to anyone. “I love you,” I whispered.

I had always imagined the words would be hard to say, but they weren’t. in all my life, I’d never been as sure of anything, and as much as I hoped to one day hear Savannah say these words to me, what mattered most was knowing that love was mine to give, without strings or expectations.

Outside, the air was beginning to cool, and I could see pools of water shimmering in the moonlight. The clouds had begun to break up, and between them, an occasional star blinked, as if to remind me of what I’d just admitted.

“Did you ever imagine something like this?” she wondered aloud. “You and me, I mean?”

“No,” I said.

“It scares me a little.”

“You don’t have to say it back to me,” I began. “That’s not why I said it.”

“I know,” she interrupted. “You don’t understand. I wasn’t scared because you told me. I got scared because I wanted to say it, too: I love you, John.”

Even now, I’m still not sure how it happened. One instant we were talking, and in the next she leaned toward me. For a second, I wondered whether kissing her would break the spell we both were under, but it was too late to stop. And when her lips met mine, I knew that I could live to be a hundred and visit every country in the world, but nothing would ever compare to that single moment when I first kissed the girl of my dreams and knew that my love would last forever.

- Nicholas Sparks, Dear John

Jar of Hearts

2011-10-20T21:29:00.007+08:00

tell me how you feel,
tell me what you’re thinking,
tell me how you would treat me,
tell me is this love meant to be.

i was getting ready to go out and get some toastbox into my extremely hungry tummy yesterday afternoon when my baby came home after spending the entire night and half the day in office.
-zombified-

i've missed him so much but my tummy was digesting itself so i dragged him to toastbox with me.
but i was still hungry!
so we went to have chap cai ben with lots of sesame oil chicken (麻油鳮) gravy (without the chicken of course) and my favorite Veggies.
i'm damn mad about veggies now. Lol.

we came home and baby bathed and concussed til this morning.

one of the many changes that happened since my last post in long away november was that i no longer take meat regularly.
maybe from time to time but that's rare and i will immediately regret it. the meat we've ordered will gradually seem repulsive to me and baby will help me finish them up.
why do i sometimes order meat when i don't eat them anymore?
see, there's the thing about cravings. but they don't happen often and they immediately become tasteless to me after my first few bites.
also, when one is hungry one gets pretty delirious and just order about anything without thinking through carefully. for that, i am most regretful.

i stopped eating meat because i wanted to help stop inhumane animal cruelty and also to eat healthier.
honestly speaking, the chicken we get to eat around here are pumped with steriods and kept in cages which is extremely unnatural.
the eggs sold in supermarkets are so small because those poor chickens are duped to believe that it's daytime with very little rests. the workers shut off the lights in the coops, the chickens go to sleep only to have the workers flip on the switch a little while later and the chickens think it's daytime and get up to lay eggs in their small extremely overcrowded cages without adequate rests.
i don't wanna go into the fact about their overcrowded cages. we know what happens when a place gets overcrowded. non-living/living things get stacked upon one another. in the case of living things, the reality is getting trampled into a mush.

the real natural eggs (they are huge compared to the common eggs we see now) are laid by chickens which get to run around free in a farm and the farmers actually have to run around searching for the eggs like a game of hide-and-seek.
we now call this practice 'Organic'.

poultry used to be my favorite meat until i learnt what happens to the poor creatures before they come onto my plate. how good can it be to my body to consume down all those evil?
sure i can buy organic chicken, organic eggs.
but there are issues. obviously there's the price issue.
also, have i mentioned that i've eaten kampong chicken and hated it?
exercised muscles are Hard to sink my teeth into.

i have also stopped buying dairy products.
how do mammals get milk? by getting pregnant.
it's the same thing with cows. except that workers will separate the baby calfs from the mother cow after birth, bring them to the execution ground to be gunshot right in the head.
Why?
to keep the milk in the mother cow for humans of course.
no milk for baby cows! the milk is for human beings! *pukes*

so now i've turned to drinking soya bean milk
which was a little weird to eat with my cereal in the beginning but i've grown used to it.

i don't wanna go further into what happens to and how the cows and pigs and all their young are being slaughtered for their meat.
there are loads of animal cruelty going on before all that food from the animals get onto the plates and bowls on your table.

also, human bodies are not suitable to take in pork in the first place.
why make choices to cause harm to yourself?

i used to live like i was an immortal.
don't we all?
i don't know about you, but when i was a teenager i used to think my looks will always remain the same, i will always be healthy, i will always be energetic.
until one day i realized that my skin isn't as susceptible to treatment as it was when i was 13. my waist isn't the same width as the times chinese dictionary shidai hanyu cidian (時代漢語詞典) like it once was.

yep that's the one

the photo is from google search but i have the same dictionary which i have used since i was 7 and it accompanied me throughout my basic schooling and tuition sessions with my taiwanese mandarin tutor.

one day when i was 17, i had just finished applying my skin medicine in front of the mirror after my bath and realized my waist actually looks kinda tiny. i grabbed the nearest thing to me on my study table to compare - my chinese dictionary.
LOL.

baby supports me by eating lots of veggies with me too. though he occasionally eats chicken when he's with me.
i can't say i don't mind but i don't want to force him or anything. it's a personal choice.
however, he really does eat a lot of veggies with me and i think up til now, i haven't seen him eating pork since the day i quit meat.
if we ever eat red meat like steak which is a rare occurence (i have a case of anemia), we only do so in restaurants and we'll order the best steaks, the really expensive ones. that will prevent us from having it too often. lol.

13th February 2011

baby and i at his colleague's sister wedding. this was on the same day as meeting wenjie & vivi again in bugis to exchange my shopping (previous post). we went to meet them after the wedding.

is it just me or is it really odd that people actually invites friends to their sibling's wedding when the friends don't even know the couple of the day?

i really do hate travelling, especially into neighborhoods cos these places are not easy to find, unless there's a really good reason.
i find myself attending the wedding of someone i don't even know *crickets chirping*

i wouldn't have minded it if it was fun, but since when was attending a wedding fun in singapore? it's not like it's a party like the angmoh people does it on the other side of the planet.

the only saving grace was that i really liked the music there. the young girl singer sings really nice, like the saturday hindi films we watch on tv.

the decor of the dais in my favorite color! =D

the wedding invitation card is beautiful too.

more photos of the beautiful purple dais and the wedding couple

part of the wedding ceremony is having men performing the malay martial arts, Silat for the King and Queen of the day.

14th February 2011

PRINCESS LAYLA's First Valentine's Day with Baby!

we didn't know where to go but i did know that i wanted to have gelato ice-cream.
we were at city hall then, so we went to this ice-cream shop in the link mall.

clockwise:
gelato ice-cream
a cute gift from baby. he wants us to carry a piece together everyday.
dark hersheys chocolates i bought for baby
the decor above us while we were queuing outside new york new york for dinner.

baby went for the yankee burger challenge. i had fish.

we took the train home after dinner. madly happy that we're living together so we don't have to part ways especially on nights like this.

while we were at the train station waiting for train arrival, baby said he noticed guys looking at me and there was this guy, who was hugging his girlfriend passionately near the elevator, looking right at me from the moment he caught sight of me until we walked out of his sight to our current spot right then.
i was playing with my phone so i didn't see it happen but i did notice that guy. who wouldn't. PDA with his girlfriend until like that, i think he nearly lifted her from her feet. i didn't witness what baby said but i could envisage a little.
but i laughed and doubted him, 'how baby know he looked at me all the way?'
baby said he turned his head back just to see if the guy kept on looking as we walked on.
and that's it. i LOL LOL & LOL-ed.
i had no idea baby actually cared about this that much.

honestly, hugging his girlfriend and still checking out other girls.
what the heck.
i hope the girl knows she deserves better.
or maybe she's also doing the same thing. hugging her boyfriend but also watching the opposite sex on your site. LOLOL =P

our Valentine's Day was a simple affair.
frankly, i don't need things like booking hotel rooms and spending the night there, candlelight dinners in expensive restaurants.
i'd rather go home and enjoy ourselves in our own home.
it's more comfortable and i don't have to pack stuff.
i don't know about other people, but i'm like that. i don't like sleeping overnight at another place without my stuff. i want my soft plushies, skin medicine secure and hygienic in my clean cupboard, my hair conditioner, hair & body shampoos in the bathroom.
i hate the complimentary shampoos by the hotel and when the label says it's a conditioner shampoo, my hair still gets impossibly tangled after washing.
Apparently, the conditioner in their shampoo isn't strong enough *eyes-roll*

candlelight dinners in restaurants are also extremely not my thing. too common and too commercialized in my opinion.
maybe candlelight dinner at home prepared by ourselves or by boyfriend/fiance/husband would be perfect.
i'm fine with flowers. only if we're in a private place. like dining at home or someplace with no other people. i feel like a retard walking in public with the bouquet cradled on my arm -.-

oh, but i wouldn't mind that when i'm a mother and my babies present me with flowers in public for special occasions like mother's day and birthday, and having to walk with the flowers on my arm.
it's a different thing being a proud mother. lol.

so anyway, i don't have high expectations as a lover.
okay, maybe that's only for special occasions. lol.
i'm happy with my baby every day and thankful that we can spend time together on Valentine's and our special days.
thankful because we shouldn't take these things for granted. what if we were held up by work or school and have to spend Valentine's Day or our other special days apart?
just being together, going out, doing whatsoever is fine with me as long as my baby is with me.

20th February 2011

baby accompanied me to a flea market at bugis essensuals.
baby and i were ill (we were having running nose and cough if i didn't remember wrongly) but i had promised @crystalavigne of crystalshong.blogspot.com that i would go and get some books from her. i'm glad i went. she was selling her books rather cheaply, probably at a quarter of their original prices when she got them at a bookstore.

while we were there, of course i had to take photos with the beautiful bloggers there.

the beautiful Deal Or No Deal Girl Crystal Shong (forgot briefcase number =P)

this girl's features are really sharp, BIG intelligent eyes, pointy chin, gua zi lian.

and of course, Yutaki of yutakis.com

and Miyake of myfatpocket.com/miyake. i bought a corset top from her for only $6.

all photos not photoshopped.
sg good-looking famous bloggers in their true glory.

i didn't get to buy much. baby was there controlling me like no tomorrow.

there were many other famous bloggers there - Peggy Heng, Celeste Chen, stunning Melissa Faith Yeo, Eric Lim, Sophie Willocq.. i can't remember who else.
forgot to take a picture with MFY and Eric. they're nice, polite, interesting and friendly people.
i can't say the same for others. peggy just sat near the floor staring at people with daggers in her eyes. sophie was bent over a table most of the time writing something and when she did look up, *dark looks*
LOL. maybe most of them woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day. i'm pretty sure sophie is a nice person. i follow her on twitter and read her blog sometimes. she is intelligent and relatable. these traits just didn't seem to come across in real life.

that's all for february.
come back for march photos and so on.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
even i also wanna laugh at myself. blogging about ancient photos. LOLOL.

“What if somebody who was incredibly unhappy with his life packed his bags to be alone for a while, but then went missing? Nobody would look for him because he previously expressed a dislike of his life. And haven’t we all done that at some point?”

Sandy was silent.

“Am I wrong in thinking that? Wouldn’t you want to be found?”

“Jack, I can only assume that there’s only one thing more frustrating than not being able to find someone, and that’s not being found. I would want someone to find me, more than anything,”

- Cecilia Ahern, A Place Called Here

all i want is a little piece of heaven

2011-10-18T02:50:00.002+08:00

I’m more than just a number.
I doubt you’ll find another.
So every single summer,
I’d be the one that you remember.

2.01 a.m.
my poor darling baby is still working away in the office.
his company is opening up a branch in - wait for this - Iran.
Right.. good old Persia.
the only thing i know about Persia is that they have this talent for producing awesome carpets.
*crickets chirping*

baby would be home with me right now if it wasn't for the fact that the the iran branch is commencing business ToMorRow :/
i'm going to wait for baby as long as i can before i hit the sack, though i'm already developing a headache now as i blog.

PRINCESS LAYLA was once acquainted in an institution with a Persian princess, Princess Azita, whose father was heralded for being the best middleman for businesses
though i have no doubt his commission rates were also "the best" in the business, the Serizawaminamoto clan has used his services several times.
i remember being fascinated by the Iranian Princess' honey golden skin, her exquisitive semi-transparent brocade clothes and this huge piece of light cloth she wears on her head, covering her entire back like a superhero cape.
during the months of our brief friendship, she told PRINCESS LAYLA stories of her country -something about people forcibly converted from Zoroastrianism to Islam- and her family tracing their lineage back to the sassanid dynasty.

honestly, up til now, i'm still wondering was she for real?
i mean, i know Azita is nobility. but a descendant of the Sassanid royals..
Serious?!?? i thought she was an Saudi-Arabian princess born and bred in Iran?
might as well say you're descendant of Xerxes.. joking.

i've decided that instead of posting a deluge of photos like i did in november last year, i'll slowly release them bit by bit. it beats not posting anything at all.

i won't be posting past nondescript photos of my daily life here. you can see that in my facebook photo albums (click!).
if you can't view, just add me.
however, do drop me a message like you read my blog, stuff like that. an introductory note/message is in order when one is adding strangers on facebook.

so here i'll start the photo blogging ball rolling with.. February...
HAHAHHA i know. ANCIENT PHOTOS, RIGHT! well, at least it's feb 2011, not feb 2010! =P

this was the eve of the eve of 2011 Valentine's Day with Vivi and our da-ge WenJie in bugis.
it was our first meeting after days of non-stop yabbering on twitter.

in case you've forgotten my face after months of not blogging, the girl on your left is PRINCESS LAYLA. the girl on the right is the famous beauty Vivi Audrella.

i edited a photo with a photo app.
(personally thinking it's very cute. lol)

in case you're wondering where is ah kit (that's wenjie), he was camera shy.
whenever we tried to capture him, he would (much to our annoyance) turn away and use something to cover his face. *wrings wenjie's neck*

however, he was the perfect gentleman. he offered to carry our shopping bags (very automatically i might add) while we dragged him through the entire bugis village trying on clothes and indecisive moments of 'should i buy this?'.

did i mention that he treated us to lunch at swensens and KOI too?

here's the ice-cream earthquake he treated Vivi and I to at Swensens after our main course.

now, i have to add a disclaimer. I TOTALLY DESERVED THAT LUNCH TREAT.
you have no idea how long i waited for the both of them at our meeting place.
i waited for them - wait for this - 3 HOURS.

yea, you read it correct.

they were HORRENDOUSLY LATE FOR 3 FUCKING HOURS.

now, if i didn't deserve that lunch treat i don't know who else does!

and vivi. when she arrived, being vivi, she was yabbering yabbering non-stop away into her phone while we stood there non-plussed staring at her, waiting for her to say hi. i mean, it was our first meeting despite keeping contact online for so long.
a 'Hi! my most sincere apologies i am fucking late for 3 fucking hours' was in order.

but no, she was still on her blackberry. *wrings Vivi's neck*

however, she did make it up to us later with her most awesome interesting hilarious life stories. FUCKING FUNNY, I TELL YOU. i don't know if i can reproduce any of them here. i haven't asked her permission for that.

i've known Vivi since the ancient Friendster days when she was 13/14 and i was 16.
that was like, 5 years ago?
she was the only and longest online friend i've ever had.
i've seen her from her first boyfriend, to the blogs she used to blogged at (she always had the most unique URL. dunno what kitty onsugar site), changing her online names (from fronting her actual name Yap Jiamin, to the name of our reigning empress Michiko, to the current Vivi Audrella. the latest one suits her best. i hope she Sticks with this one), to this fat boyfriend patrick she had for a long time and then broke up with, emo breakup writings on networking sites and her blogs, to subsequently changing guys one after another and being upset about each and everyone of them.
i don't know where her heart gets the energy to be put out there and be trampled on by heartless jerks each time.
seriously. she's like a warrior princess for love. every single time she falls down, she goes through an emo time then picks herself up and clambers up onto her horse, halberd in hand and canters away in search of the next love hoping that he'll be the one for her. Heroic (for herself), or what.
round of applause for Vivi please.

we met up in bugis again the next day on Valentine's Day eve because i had to go back and exchange my shopping from the previous day.
this time, we had to accompany WenJie to do his shopping.
Vivi was LATE AGAIN AS USUAL.

wenjie's shopping is more atas than ours.
while Vivi and i could only afford trudging through bugis village, wenjie trudged us through all the jewelry shops in bugis junction looking for a DIAMOND heart-shaped necklace for his valentine.

this time, we managed to get decent photos of wenjie.

don't know how he could still manage to look so miserable while being sandwiched by two awesomely pretty girls.

thus is the power of ~~infatuation~~ love. he'd probably look as miserable with anybody who isn't his valentine.

PRINCESS LAYLA with Vivi

the sales assistant presented both of us with a single rose each for Wenjie's necklace purchase.

that was the second and last time i saw Vivi.
since then, whenever we made plans to meet up she will always manage to ~~fly my aeroplane~~ botch it up by oversleeping.
i've officially given up meeting up with her.

i was looking through Evonne's wedding photo album on facebook and came across this picture of her in a corset wedding dress that i think is so beautiful i just have to share it.

i love the pattern on the veil, the dress and her hairstyle!
too lovely.

Evonne was pregnant with her first girl then. so the photoshoot had to focus on elsewhere other than the front where people could see her enlarging womb.
all in all, this was picture perfect for her.

As she lifted open the heavy front cover my heart fluttered. The voice of Zoey and Laura told me to be embarrassed about this and I momentarily was until the Tamara of this new world beat them away with a stick. But when Sister Ignatius opened the book that embarrassment came back intensified, bringing anger with it for there was nothing in the book. Nothing at all on the pages.

‘Hmm . . . well, look at that,’ Sister Ignatius said, flicking through the thick cream woven deckle-edged pages, which looked as though they’d come straight from another time. ‘Blank pages waiting to be filled,’ she continued with her voice of wonder.

‘How exciting,’ I rolled my eyes.

‘More exciting than an already filled one. Then you definitely wouldn’t be able to use it.’

‘Then I could read it. Hence it being called a book,’ I snapped, once again feeling this place had let me down.

‘Would you prefer to be given a life already lived too, Tamara? That way you can sit back and observe it. Or would you rather live it yourself?’ she asked, her eyes smiling.

- Cecilia Ahern, The Book of Tomorrow

Bring me to the sea of sugar & spice

2011-10-17T15:24:00.005+08:00

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

a short one today.
i'm taking a break from editing photos. have yet to eat and bathe... urm..
i'll go right after this =P

in case you haven't notice, i've joined nuffnang. took me long enough huh? i think i mentioned before i'm a champion procrastinator.
i'm abit gong from reading the nuffnang faq. half a day has gone by and i still understand Nothing.
i'm definitely having baby to read and then help me translate into english for me when he returns home from work.

i found a cute photo of a back scene in Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind.

the actors with the child actors of their childhood characters of the movie.
cute

I saw heaven in your eyes baby

2011-10-16T23:50:00.000+08:00

Oh my darling, oh my darling
Oh my darling Clementine,
Thou art lost and gone forever,
Dear sweet darling Clementine

OHAI! PRINCESS LAYLA should be shot. i promised to update 2 weeks ago. brilliant me managed to procrastinate til now. please give me a round of applause. am champion of all procrastinators.

so as usual, from the dam of not blogging, i have the usual deluge of photos. i'm keeping them for the next post. super dead tired right now. had a hectic day of jumping out of bed to bathe and prepare at baby's behest because we were going to be late for his participation in this wanton eating competition happening at orchard central and then going to lavender for a renovation planning appointment at this contractor's showroom. baby's family bto apartment in yishun will be ready next year and we're researching on renovation and interior designs for the apartment.

so. for the past couple of days, instead of blogging i've been organizing my 2222 songs in my itunes. i may lack efficiency but i certainly make it up on the effectiveness part. i'm mad pleased and satisfied. now the ipod in my iphone & the actual 80g ipod is so awesome, i actually look forward to travelling with all my favorite music.

i'm currently damn besotted with this song which i don't even vaguely remember downloading. it's not my style to download indie/country band songs.

>

thought 1: the video doesn't make much sense. in fact, i think it's Lame.

thought 2: did Taylor Swift join a band??

i honestly thought the girl was taylor swift when i first saw the album art on my iphone's ipod. at closer look in the video, she's not so pretty as.
not that taylor swift was pretty when she just started her career. it's either the makeup or the procedures.

so anyway. when i first listened to the song on my itunes, my mind went "i think i'm in love."
in love with the song, that is.

it's obvious my taste of music has evolved.
it used to be Britney Spears, Britney Spears, Britney Spears. earlier, it was Spice Girls. after Britney was Jay Chou.
now, it's DJ mixes, oldies by 費玉清, 鄧麗君, chinese 90s songs by various chinese singers and music these Band Perry, Boys Like Girls bands. all of which i used to hate. the world just turned on its axis.

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;

- Alexander Pope

baby is downloading my favorite movies according to my list of favorite movies i stated on my fb profile. it's lovely to be able to watch my favorite movies again, especially with person you love and care deeply for.

we watched Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind the week before. it was as endearing as i remembered it to be. the lead characters erased their relationship memories of each other and yet they still managed to find each other back.
the Huckleberry Hound song is officially stuck in my head side by side with If I Die Young.

Scenes from the movie with Memorable Quotes

Clementine: You know me, I'm impulsive.
Joel: That's what I love about you.

Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.

[Clementine and Joel have broken into an empty house on the Montauk beach]
Joel: I think we should go.
Clementine: No, it's our house! Just for tonight...
[she looks at an envelope on the counter]
Clementine: ...we are David and Ruth Laskin. Which one do you want to be? I prefer to be Ruth, but I'm flexible.

Dr. Howard Mierzwiak: ...Our files are confidential Mr. Barish so we can't show you any evidence. Suffice it to say, Miss Kruczynski was not happy and she wanted to move on. We provide that possibility.

Clementine: You're not a stalker, or anything, right?
Joel: I'm not a stalker. YOU'RE the one that talked to me, remember?
Clementine: That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.
Joel: Really? There's a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one.

Mary: Adults are, like, this mess of sadness and phobias.

[Joel calls Clem on the telephone]
Clementine: What took you so long?
Joel: I just walked in.
Clementine: Do you miss me?
Joel: Oddly enough, I do!
Clementine: You said "I do" - I guess that means we're married!
Joel: I guess so!

[Clementine is trying to comfort baby Joel by showing him her crotch]
Clementine: My crotch is still here, just as you remembered it.
Joel: Yuck!

Joel: Hi.
Clementine: Hi. Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again. I guess I thought you were... humiliated. You did run away, after all.
Joel: I just needed to see you.
Clementine: Yeah?
Joel: I'd like to, um... take you out, or something.
Clementine: You're married.
Joel: Not yet, not married. No, I'm not married.
Clementine: Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high-maintainance, so... I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.
Joel: I remember that speech really well.
Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Hmm. Probably.
Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that.
Clementine: Ohhh... I know.
Joel: It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.
Clementine: Remember me. Try your best; maybe we can.

Joel: What a loss to spend that much time with someone, only to find out that she's a stranger.

Joel: I had a really nice time last night.
Clementine: Nice?
Joel: I had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life, last night!
Clementine: Thaaaat's better!

Clementine: [Clem arrives home to see Patrick waiting for her] Patrick, get the fuck away from me.
Patrick: What's wrong?
Clementine: Get the fuck away!
Patrick: Do you wanna talk about it?
Clementine: NO! Get the fuck away!

Joel: [in the house on the beach] I really should go! I've gotta catch my ride.
Clementine: So go.
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.
Clementine: I wish you had stayed.
Joel: I wish I had stayed too. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do.
Clementine: Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door!
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don't know. I felt like I was a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation.
Clementine: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah, you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?
Clementine: Oh, I'm sorry.
Joel: It's okay.
[Walking Out]
Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
[Joel comes back]
Clementine: Bye Joel.
Joel: I love you...
Clementine: Meet me... in Montauk...

Mary: Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders. Nietzsche. Beyond Good and Evil

The lines and the scenes are very meaningful.

A couple gets tired of each other, say hurtful words and carry out hurtful actions without thought even though they are still in love with each other.

baby and i make the same mistake too. but we're lucky cos we know how to forgive each other and i try not to stay too angry with baby for long.
i used to be able to hold on to my anger really well. i'll ignore and give dark looks to whoever pissed me off. basically like a long drawn out cold war. i used to this all the time with my mum, especially when she rejected buying the stuff i wanted. i had this crooked sense of thought that this will teach the person who pissed me off not to piss me off ever.
problem is, this tactic just pushes the person away when one uses it too frequently.
i follow xiaxue's mum (@yipmomo) on twitter. i love her tweets even though they're in broken english. i love her tweets with wisdom about life. i'll never forget her this one tweet:

isn't it so damn true?

life is short. our time together is short.
why do we have to wait til one of us is dying to cherish our and treasure our time together, grieve about insufficient time together when we could have used the time together wisely?
why do we want to spend our time being angry when we should be sayang-ing and be gentle & tender to each other?

after reading xiaxue's mother's words of wisdom, i have since dropped that silly cold war charade of "punishing people who made me angry".
these people are people i actually care and love. we should be spending our time with love.

baby and i had a lovely dinner from the CP goodie bag he had gotten from the participating in the wonton gobbling competition. his record was 42 wontons. he now awaits to be called for semi-finals.
inside the goodie bag were products of CP. chicken, spaghetti with mushroom, spicy glutinous chicken rice, and of course, wonton. my sweet baby cooked all of them for our dinner for me. he knows i'm too dead to cook.

one might think how come my buffet king baby only ate 42 wontons.
shouldn't wonton be the easiest thing to eat? watery and smooth, so easy to *gloop* down.
yea, that's wishful thinking.
baby said the wontons were all arranged on trays and in the process of waiting to be eaten, they had all DRIED UP.
imagine swallowing many many dried up wontons in one go... urm...
poor baby.

need to sleep soon. baby has work tomorrow. i need to get up early with him so i can feel as tired at night to sleep at the same time with him.
previously i slept late into the day and was too awake to fall asleep with him at night. i don't want that anymore. i want to fall asleep and wake up together with my sweet baby.

before i go, here are some interesting pictures to share. i found them on facebook, postsecrets and some other forgotten websites.

detailed on facebook as a playhouse exit. there are no other exits in the playhouse.
these two sliding tunnels are the only way out.

hilarious

scarecrow of the new generation?

LOL

it's a bird! it's a plane! no, it's SUPER DOG!!

Japan's national animal is... Godzilla.. LOL.

first time seeing a captain who gave a damn about being a danger to anyone.

draining the cow of its milk

what can be truer than that?

HAHA

isn't this sweet!

urm, okay, that was Disturbing with a capital D.

presented to you by the huge land of yellow people.

LAME. LOL

baby brook? LOL

home away from home xD

me: baby! i got mugged today. the thief ran away with my bag! sob!
baby: oh no. baby ok? sayang baby!
me: so can we buy the LV bag i saw last week to replace the one i lost??

yea. remember that.

from postsecrets:

OI.

haha. so ally mcbeal.

and the last one is from baby. he saw this while filling in a survey.

that's all for today/night.

i'll write again.. not tomorrow.
once i've done organizing and editing the photos. =P

thank you for reading.
hugs & kisses ;D

a universe of our own

2011-07-28T22:50:00.006+08:00

Chorando se foi quem um dia só me fez chorar
Chorando estará ao lembrar de um amor
Que um dia năo soube cuidar

it's been months since the last entry. there's no time for anything else other than getting to work on time and racing to get enough rest after work. so frigging tired all the time machiam i've become a new parent.

i hardly ever get to work on time now. even more so now that im serving my notice at Din Tai Fung office. if i could, i'd rather i don't have to go. the smell is terrible (more about that later) and the walk through the dark corridors from the lift lobby to the back entrance of the office is claustrophobic.

there is a little pocket space of time to rant here today because im on mc. so much happened last night made me have puffy eyes this morning. it was a torture to open up my eyes to be in time for work so decided not to turn up. i don't care since i'm serving my notice.

emailed athel an update yesterday. i hate repeating myself so i'm gonna C&P most of it about the new office of which im blardy super glad that i'll be leaving. (why is 4th august so far away!!??!)

let me also include that their place FUCKING STINKS TO THE HIGHEST HEAVENS. LIKE OMG STINK IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT.
goodness.

let me explain. their office is in an entire block of food factory in kampong ampat industrial park, with different companies/restaurants renting spaces inside for food preparation before the food is sent to the restaurant where they will cook it to be served readily. the office is just next to these food preparations stuff going on and you know there'll be spilt foods & liquids... that's where the smell is coming from. im on the 5th level now helping out with the HR for these 2 weeks. i was originally hired as a PA/admin offer to assist the CEO of the restaurant division and his secretary. their office was on the 4th level. once i started serving my notice, they transferred me up on monday to help out HR. which is just data entry & plain filing. *snore*

office on the 4th level shares the space (with partitions) with the central kitchen where the major food preparation of din tai fung restaurants are. the moment you step of out the office space, you smell the horrijible smell of the big long kang right outside. it smells like pork ribs soup gone cold and left there for 2 weeks. i had to hold my breath everytime i go out of the office. in fact, i hold my breath for the entire duration when i went into the training room/pantry to wash my cup).

so the 5th level, goodness. the moment you step out to go to the toilet or the pantry or take the elevator, there's the rubbish chute of the entire level right there. where everyone throws their bento and unfinished food after lunch. and you know what rubbish smells like. the area outside my office is like there's a permanent dump truck parked right outside all day long 24/7.

it was raining today and the smell got VERY CONCENTRATED that i gagged and nearly threw up when i arrived. thank god i never take breakfast before work. it was so bad nobody could go toilet or pantry.

along the way to the unit of our offices, is a long dark corridor where doors of these preparation kitchens and warehouses will be opened. OMG THE SMELL. it's only slightly better than the area outside the 5th level. the corridor is very dark and i get abit claustrophoic much when i walk to the office everyday. then there'll be those manual workers smoking and there're no windows except the end of the window but of course that's where the rubbish chute is (!!!!!).

about my new bitchy pussy superior:

my colleagues said some of the stuff joycelyn said to hr about me didn't happen. that's when i knew that joycelyn was the fecking drama queen. make herself look good only. always give other people the bad roles and make them look bad and feel bad then keep the good roles for herself. kns please. i deduced all these myself from working with her these few days. she's always picking up the phone and calling people to yell at and saying what happened what happened and then made this happened this happened and it's all who's who's fault. at that time i didn't think too much. now i know she's the bitch creating politics within the company.

she also kept job information from me and the truth about the state of the office during the interview. the smell and everything. when i asked to be shown where i'll be working, wilson (the HR guy) also kept rejecting me indirectly citing that he has other work to do when i came to sign the appointment letter. so the job information i wasn't let known was that i'll need to carry heavy stuff from time to time cos in this company everybody qing li qing wei. i mean, please. i have sclerosis and i have a metal in my back for crying out loud. she should have told me so i could make an informed decision.

i came back to work yesterday and i was packing up to go to 5th level but i caught hold of joycelyn before she stepped out of the office and told her off right in front of the colleagues there. i told her not to spread stories about me and i don't like the way to talks about me to other people cos i take the way she speaks about me as insults (i overheard her speaking on the phone that morning about me to the HR). she didn't say a word and just left immediately. after that she just kept appearing in front of me, like in the training room where we were eating our employee's meal (she never eats there because she thinks the portions are too small for her and her unborn baby. she goes out of the office for lunch), at the 5th level where she pretended to talk to the secretaries of the group ceo and chairman but she was speaking loud enough for me to hear so as to prove that she just speaks like that about anyone and everyone. it's her pattern. please lah hor? jump into the yellow river also cannot wash clear already lah. she wants to remain that pattern then be prepared that some people cannot accept. THAT'S LIFE. right not? goodness.

im staying in ________ now with my boy boy now, but the disgusting owners want to raise the rental fee and we're forced to move. i've found a room at ________, right opp the mrt. our room faces the other side, away from the mrt track so the mrt noise is muffled. thank god.

the owners off the AC main switch before we wake up in the morning and uses the water when we're preparing for work. so let's say they decide to use the washing machine. i'll be bathing in the master bedroom's bathroom and the water flow will become damn small and freaking scorching because they're too cheapskate to re-do the piping. like why the feck they don't want to use a huge amount of water when we're out of the house? they have all the time in the world while we're out at work don't they? wtf.

the HR people are back from lunch. i've gotta go. supposed to be filing. tata

when i was returned home yesterday evening, i was still fuming about the the water flow in the morning. i put up with that crap for months already. WHY the old woman never took note for so long is either she is majorly inconsiderate or she is too stupid to take notice. i go with the first because the old bitch has always been damn sharp. whenever i'm in the kitchen boiling my vegetables or using the washing machine for my laundry, she watches me like a hawk AND THEN tattle-tales to her son and daughter-in-law who in turn, instead of speaking to us nicely, will tell us off in a gross telling-off way. please, you wanna scold people like they're children, go and scold your spoilt and pampered daughter. jitao never teach her. let her ride bicycle and bounce ball noisily in the house. wtf.

pardon my digression.

so last night, after work baby and i left the house for an unsuccessful search for cardboards boxes all over the neighborhood shops and in nex. we reached home empty-handed and i was feeling so worried and down. again, racing for time to rest earlier, i quickly went to bathe. halfway-through, the damn water flow became really small again and it scorched my skin. i think my control over my emotions broke with the tension i was feeling these days.

i have been worried that my back was hurting.
i've been spending my time visiting grandma, travelling to that goddamn ulu hospital in yio chu kang. opportunity cost time which i have i could used to tidy and pack up things at home for the move.
nothing has been packed because there isn't any boxes. which is another worry.
then there's the jobless part. i've decided to wait til we've settled down at the new place then start my job hunt.

so much for deferring school for the new job.
might as well. im not ready to have to make the troublesome long journey to and fro yishun for school in my current state.

so anyway, i lost my temper and started yelling loudly to baby about the water-flow and it being damn scorching hot i couldn't even wash the conditioner off my hair thoroughly. my true intentions were to let the owners know i was really fed up.
you spend all that money on ipad, iphone, child bicycle, that thin rider that all kids have

something like that

spending money on unnecessary stuff and not spending on the necessary like re-line the piping in your house so the water flow would be normal irregardless, changing the taps, tightening the taps so they won't drip water, buy a new light bulb for the kitchen ceiling light and re-wiring your flat so you won't experience power surges all the time.

it's basically none of my business but if you as a flat owner wishes to rent out a room in your flat, make sure everything is running fine if not you're basically just cheating money off the tenants because they will feel cheated when these things happen and create inconveniences for them. THEY DIDN'T PAY GOOD MONEY TO EXPECT THESE SHIT. unless you notify them and they still wish to rent, that's another story. but that'll either put the prospective tenants off when they come for viewing or they'll negotiate the price, which is what we all know owners don't want.

despite having to endure all the above, we have to endure the owner's tempers.
when he gets mad at us for talking loudly unintentionally, he'll yell through our door and even bang and kick the door as if to knock it down like last night...

and his family's quirks like for example,

1) sleeping with the goddamn light on in the living room. everyfuckingthing in the fucking house is old. even the damn door doesn't fit snugly into the frame. so the light from the living room filters through the door frame gaps and penetrates straight into the tenants' closed eyelids when they're trying hard to fall asleep.

2) the goddamn noises the sick old man (owner's father) makes when he talks super loudly on the phone as if the person on the other line is deaf, when he soothes his itches by hitting himself with this bunch of sticks (piak! piak! PIAK!!!!) all through the fucking night when people are just winding down for bed.

3) the freaking loud pig snores the old woman (owner's mother) make. she is taking a nap as i type and as usual, snoring away. which is not fine when people are trying to sleep.

4) the loud noises their visitors make. talking loudly as if the tenants do not exist at all. there was once i was on mc cos i was feeling really bad from the seasick i got from attending a company gathering on a ship. this uncomfort lasted for several days for me. i was resting halfway when there was this huge explosion of human talk and ball-bouncing from outside my room. i took a peek. BLOODY HELL. this bunch of loud speaking visitors (they're probably the 1st gen who came from china and work their lives away in singapore) and the two girl children of the family running around screaming loudly and bouncing this huge plastic ball repeatedly. WTF.

5) did i also mention that the owner's 4 year old daughter cries EVERY SINGLE DAY & NIGHT? and when she's not crying, she's singing and talking loudly. when she isn't doing that, she's bouncing the ball or playing with toys or the ipad which emit annoying noises.

other than informing me that the daughter cries once in the morning when she wakes and once at night before she falls asleep, I FELT GODDAMN CHEATED FOR PAYING THE FULL RENT ADD-ON FIFTY BUCKS TO COVER THEIR UTILITIES FOR THEM AND STILL HAVE TO ENDURE THEIR SHIT! where the fuck is the duty of care?? it's major gross negligence please!

so last night after hearing my shouts, the owner rushed out of his bathroom halfway through his bath and came tearing down our door yelling at me to come out and if i wasn't going to, he's going to open and enter. i was, like please WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO HIM plus im in the bathroom wet and NOT WEARING CLOTHES DOES HE WANNA OPEN UP THE DOOR AND SEE BECAUSE I WILL SO CALL THE POLICE. goodness. he was behaving like my mum. violent shits. who the fuck is he. not to mention he isn't lee kuan yew, his surname is far from Lee. it's pang. it's the pang of pang pui (hokkien dialect: fart) please.

so he hollered that he's going to call the agent right now and we are to move out immediately.
please. have i already mentioned just now that I FUCKING HATE THREATS?
i went, please go ahead i'll call the police (even though they're bloody cowardly useless piece of shit).
there's nothing for me to be scared because I'VE PAID FOR THE E-STAMPING OF THE RENTAL AGREEMENT, THANKS. i should in turn, SUE THEM FOR WANTING TO RAISE THE RENT AFTER LESS THAN A YEAR. IT'S CALLED BREACH OF CONTRACT YOU SLIMY ASSHOLE AND FAMILY.

so i went back to my bath and when i finished, he was still hollering for me to go out. HAHA. i said to him through the door, can. WAIT UNTIL I'VE FINISHED MY FACIAL. in the time, you should go back to your bath because i've finished so the water flow should be normal for you now. i bet i gave him an embolism.

then he started asking for baby. i kept telling baby don't go out, i'll settle it but baby still went out and made peace. i know, he's the bigger person whereas me being the princess behaves like a commoner. ahahaha. who cares. i'm not royal. just samurai and japan has already been reformed.

baby came back in and said the owner doesn't even know that his old woman uses the washing machine and slows down the water flow when we're preparing for work in the morning and sometimes he even has to bathe in cold water cos we were using the water, and that they actually endure us and our habits as well.

you know what that means?

THERE IS FUCKING NO COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THE OWNER AND TENANTS.

baby said the owner said they find it difficult to talk to me.
HELLO?? SINCE WHEN THE FUCK HAVE THEY EVER TALKED TO ME OTHER THAN TELLING ME THAT I HAVE TO MAINTAIN THE BATHROOM AND TO OPEN THE WINDOWS TO LET SUNSHINE IN TO PREVENT BED BUGS?

other than that, they have NEVER took the initiative to talk to me AT ALL. otherwise i would have taken action before things got worse.
LIKE, (as quoted by the agent)

1) using their dishwashing liquid.

2) not using dishwashing liquid to wash the plates and utensils which is so unhygienic - that is baby. i have told him off SO MANY TIMES about that and he refuses to listen and EVEN THROWS TANTRUMS AT ME for that. he hates using soap to wash hands or anything at all because when he was younger, he used soap to wash his cup but didn't rinse it properly and when he poured water inside to drink, he was scared bad by all the soap bubbles he saw inside the cup that he never used soap to wash anything again.

INSTEAD OF TAKING THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR NOT RINSING THE CUP PROPERLY, HE BLAMES THE CLEANING AGENT. LIKE WTF?

i digress.

3) i anyhow press the buttons on their washing machine to the extent that their washing machine is gonna spoil.

GOT THAT FUCKING DRAMA ANOT. I CAN SPOIL A WHOLE WASHING MACHINE? please lah hor. i, a samurai princess, spent my entire teenagehood helping my mom to do our laundry in singapore when i'm not in jp during school vacation. my mom taught me how to use different types of washing machine through my growing years okay? sanyo, samsung, borsch. you name one i don't know how to use, i can still pick it up after looking at one demonstration. washing machine got how difficult to use not. if one can afford to buy a damn high-tech washing machine for the house it either means the person is so damn rich there is a hired domestic helper to do the laundry in his/her private housing which defeats the entire purpose of having tenants to rent a room in your house or the person owns a laundry service business.

but this is a freaking common-to-goodness freaking old and rundown hdb flat we're talking about and the owner does not own a laundry service business, so where is the high-tech shit?

the fucking truth is: i can use your washing machine BETTER than you owners. PERIOD.
WORD.

PRINCESS LAYLA 10 / Pang Pui Family 0 GO EAT SHIT

4) i sit in the kitchen reading books or doing whatever for so long that they can't do their things.

let me explain.

i used to just do the settings for the washing machine and go back into my room and shut the door but that made me miss the timing to put softener into my laundry. i always had to set it back to rinse again so i can pour softener to rinse my laundry with.
then the owner's wife started complaining that i use the washing machine for too long for my load of laundry and this wastes electricity.

i say complain because she told me in a way that was rather brash. call me sensitive, but i didn't like it. everybody can be nice. it depends on one's attitude.

so i decided to sit my ass in the kitchen with a book so i could monitor the washing machine when i could i put in the softener.
this incurred their grief as well (read first sentence of this complaint again)

THEN i thought of the idea of setting a timer in my phone. problem is, the timing of the washing machine stops when it is changing laundry water so my timer rings earlier than the actual time i'm supposed to pour in softener. this made me resorted to walking in and out of my room to check on the timing. i don't want to miss it and have somebody saying i waste their electricity over my laundry again.

so their new complaint was: i keep walking in and out of my room, passing by their living room to go to the kitchen.

wow.

you can't say i didn't try, neither can you say that i didn't put in effort. BECAUSE I DID.

FUCKING FUSSY.
i am already a very fussy girl.
they are MORE FUSSY THAN ME.
win already lor!

i knew most of these through the agent, chua kok how who represented both of us.

i did tried to talk to the owner on my part about living room light disturbing our sleep. the owner came up with the bunch of ~~excuses~~ reasons. reasons, let's give them a benefit of doubt, that his father is blind in one eye and dares not sleep with the lights off.

so the lights remain on until..... which brings me to my next point.

5) they blame us for the rise in utility bills.

we're not the one who sleep with the lights on or watches tv, or has ipad, iphone and ipod to charge.

so BEFORE they called the agent to complain about this point, they started switching off the lights during their sleepytime. after doing so for a short period of time, THEN they pick up the phone to call kok how.

WHAT AN EXCELLENT WAY TO CREATE AN ALIBI FOR YOURSELVES so you can safely push the blame onto other people.

after all that above complaints, this sufficiently proves that THE FUCKING OLD WOMAN IS A FUCKING SPY AND TELL-TALE because the owner and his wife are never at home when i'm in the kitchen cooking/doing laundry so how would they know unless the spy told them?
this sneaky old woman would sit at this strategic position on the sofa in the living room where she can see me doing whatever all the way back in the kitchen.

you'd think that the owner and family couldn't open their own golden mouth (and when they do, they're fucking rude like the wife or fucking fake like the old woman) to speak with us (or at least, baby) all the MINOR STUFF.
that's not true. they could. THEY WERE JUST LOOKING FOR REASONS TO CHASE THEIR CURRENT TENANTS OUT SO THEY COULD RENT THE ROOM OUT AT A HIGHER RATE due a rise in demand because of the influx of fucking foreign workers.

other than admitting that filipinos are good nurses, the rest can go eat shit because if government wanna solve the problem, i'm pretty sure foreign nurses can be provided hostel lodgings.

i'm currently paying $850 for two but i recently saw on propertyguru that kok how has put up that the new price they wish to rent out is $950 for one, $1000 for two.
FUCKING DISGUSTING PEOPLE OR WHAT. goodness. 简直想爬上枝头当凤凰！

so there is NEX and the mrt. but your district is NOT fucking orchard or in the cbd area and your house is a good 10 minutes away from the train station. it's not like the entrance of the mrt station is just downstairs or directly opposite your block.
plus you have to keep in mind that, inconsideration of your family aside, you already have 5 PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE. one rude auntie, one fucking spy loud-snoring old woman, one extremely noisy old man, one crying 4 year child who thanks to being pampered and spoilt, behaves like she's 0 year old and you, the owner who throws fucking tantrums and have no fucking idea what is truly going on inside the house other than the stories your fucking old woman and rude wife tells you. you wanna rent $1000, kick some occupants out first because it's unfair to the tenants, thanks!

last of, but not least, the atrocities they committed: they'll arrange viewings of our room without our consent or so much of a notification.

the first viewing, kok how did call baby if he is allowed to arrange a viewing cos we were out working and that was the only time. that was only kok how. there were OTHER AGENTS who were also marketing our current room too. so what happens when it isn't kok how who brings the prospects? you got it, right. NO CALLS OR EVEN A SIMPLE TEXT. they don't even tell us out of courtesy when we are back that there was a viewing today and to please check our room if there is anything missing.

i dont have to list out the possibilites about loss of belongings. that's obvious enough but so far, we haven't lost anything and neither do we have anything valuable in the room. thank god.

it's not so much of that i actually minded. IT'S THE INTRUSION OF PRIVACY AND NO FUCKING RESPECT FOR US.
baby may don't mind BUT I MIND.
i hate it. i may be moving out but IT'S STILL MY ROOM AS LONG AS YOU'VE RECEIVED MY MONEY FOR THE PERIOD I'M STAYING IN THERE.

baby was out of town last week for work and we kept his pc on so that he may access to it through another pc overseas. one evening, i came home to find the main switch providing power to our pcs switched off. the poor pcs had shut down because they ran out of their own reserve power from their batteries.

WTF. are they gonna pay us if our equipment spoils? also, where is the respect of my privacy?
what was so maddening was the fact that THEY WERE SO FUCKING SMART AS TO LOCK THE DOOR BACK AFTER THE VIEWING.
what's the fucking point now since you can just unlock my door to my personal space with your own reserved key????? WHAT?
you don't go in to somebody's space, change something thing then lock the door back and pretend nothing happened you fuckery retards.

now you see what i meant about no communication?? they also have NO FUCKING SENSE OF GOOD CHARACTER. machiam NO FATHER & MOTHER TO TEACH.

so i immediately whipped out my phone and called kok how the agent.
and that was the time that i got the full extent of how afraid he was of the owner.
just because people are owner of a flat you're scared of them.
when you're right or when you have a point to make, there's no need to feel afraid.
why does so many people not get this important rule of life?

kok how was trying to push off the responsibility of having to communicate to the owner for me. he said the agent's responsibility is only to bring the prospects to the suitable room and do the agreement.

HELLO? IF MONEY IS THAT GOOD TO EARN, THEN WE ALL DON'T NEED TO WORK SO HARD FOR MONEY ALREADY!

it was apparent how scared he was to speak to the owner. just because they're flat owners.
dude, how in the world can you only have owners and not have tenants? the owners can rent their rooms out to ghosts hah?? then ghosts can be your clients lor? best, man. when ghosts are annoyed, you don't know the extent of damage they can do.
i am one hundred percent chop confirmed that i will not be introducing any friends to this agent even though i am super grateful to him for helping us move when our movers showed us up.

there was a day when i came home from work earlier because it was my last day at ROI.
i was resting without wearing any clothes because the room was so hot and i refused to open the windows. suddenly there was an impatient knock at the door. i threw on some clothes groggily and opened the door cautiously. wtf. the fucking old woman began ushering a woman and a man into my room without so much as letting me know that there is a viewing. machiam i was invisible or non-existent. SO RUDE WTF. no wonder their grandchild is so fucking terrible.

then last saturday, baby and i were still sleeping because baby came home late from his work trip on friday night. we were exhausted. guess what. the owner's wife came knocking on our door damn loudly because she spontaneously arranged a viewing with an agent and student prospects. both the owner's wife and the agent were knocking and knocking. i was too tired to get up. my pillow was too comfortable. in the end they went away. but my rest was already disturbed.

baby was MAD MAD PISSED last night.
about me. not about the owner.
he said i'm the one who kicked up the mess.
yah, i just snapped okay. i don't wanna put up with threats and tempers anymore without a chance to screw them back into their place.
why do we need to maintain any more relationship with them since it was clear that they're jerks????
minghui has said that this behavior is cross the river already dismantle the bridge.
过河拆桥
but still we cannot no logic like that maintain a rotting bridge what right?

so anyway, baby said he's mad because he thinks he is responsible for my actions.

that is totally out of point already because i'm letting the enemy drink their own medicine. what is there to be responsible for? karma? i'm issuing out karma so that's also irrelevant already. so what else?

i don't know to call this gentlemanly and protective of me, or chauvinistic or just plain kpo.
man and woman are equal. i am responsible for my own actions. my husband isn't.

but then baby said that anything i do is his business and anything he does is my business.

honestly, that so isn't true. maybe in theory it is. i try to practice that theory, but in fact, baby still continues to operate as if i'm not part of his life.
for example, he still chats with tina but didn't tell me until he has made a date to go out with her and informs me to go with him. not that i'm mad about him talking to tina. it's good. i like baby to have as many friends as possible. it works well during CNY after we have children. but he knows that tina and i fell out and we don't talk anymore, so maybe he could just let me know that they're still talking. just let me know. it's just that simple. i don't prohibit baby from talking to anyone unless i know that the person has hurt him before.
or he makes a date with friends but didn't inform me. just because i don't need to attend or unable to attend because of school doesn't mean he doesn't need to inform if we're playing by the rule that we're of one and anything we do as an individual is of each other's business.
how can i be in control if i don't know my own business right?

so i just continue to live like a lone individual, which is logically fine because i'm still legally single, unmarried. even to the point that when i'm fighting a case with someone else, it's MY CASE ALONE.
but yesterday baby had to put his leg into my case with the owner citing that my case is also his case.
which spoilt the fun because i really wanted to give the owners a taste of their own medicine and i know that i will win. i always do what with my prevention is better than cure background. i've done all my homework before going out to fight. and baby doesn't like that. he thinks im arrogant. imho, i'm proud that i have a right point to prove. if outsiders wanna see it is arrogant, it's futile to change their view.

then again, man and woman are equal.

baby is 'the meek will inherit the earth' type. im a firm believer of going all out to protect our interests.
baby helps me physically to carry heavy stuff and things that guys are best like muscles and strength. i want to also help baby intellectually. anyone who bullies us are going down.

so anyway, i informed baby that he lives like he excludes me out of his life so i'm just following suit.
if i really wanna go nitty-gritty on that, i'll just get upset and get hurt even more. it's better to just improvise.
and baby apologized for that.
i wanna give him the benefit of doubt but i know he's going to still continue his pattern and being this prepared at least cushions the hurt.

if only aniki is still alive with me. it'll make everything simpler. no complications. i can just tell all these retards to screw off from my life and live in our world with aniki. i'll have no need for them, no bridges to maintain either.

actually, if aniki is still alive i wouldn't even have met these retards.

come to me and let me be your one and only

2011-01-22T23:18:00.000+08:00

Come on baby blue.
Shake up your tired eyes,
the world is waiting for you.
May all your dreams fill up the empty skies.

just tried to use my iphone to blog.
no up down left right arrows. very inconvenient. gave up & now using baby's netbook.

we went swimming today, hoping to lose some calories
but i put them back on with jack&jill chips & tao kae noi seaweed right after i climbed out of the pool
waste of effort

on the way there, spotted a man jogging his way to the stadium (just beside swimming complex)
i told baby, 'that man jogged from his house to the stadium to jog on the track. so should we swim our way to the swimming pool?'

im becoming as lame as baby.

our skin were so dried up by the cholrine, i drenched us in my vaseline cocoa butter after bathing.
now we're two awesome smelling & smooth-skinned lovers
my hair is all smooth & soft. credits to redken heat protector.
has been applying it faithfully every morning & night.

Deep Dark Secret:

the landlord's wife was mean to me this afternoon.
she's displeased that i use several hours to do one load of laundry.
wasting the electricity powering the washing machine she says.
hello, auntie. im human. i just FORGOT ok?
she is nice-handicapped.
zero ability to talk nicely.

she's leaving for sarawak next week with her little daughter for a week until cny day 2.
i was thinking, if she ever talks to me to that reprimanding tone a 2nd time I HOPE HER SARAWAK-BOUND PLANE EITHER GETS HIJACKED OR JUST SIMPLY CRASHES INTO ANY ULU JUNGLE OF SARAWAK WITH HER & THE LITTLE GIRL INSIDE.

i mean, seriously. her girl is SO SPOILT.
whine whine whine whine whine.
how many times in a night does can she cry & make a fuss?
uncountable.
for each time she does that, she totally deserves TWO TIGHT SLAPS. HARD.
either that or perish in a plane crash.
choose one.

there you go, my deep dark secret.

washing towels tomorrow.
imma sit beside the washing machine with a book & set timer to remind me to add in softener on time.
i hope that shuts her trap up, that she-scrooge.

Winter Solstice

2010-12-22T17:32:00.003+08:00

Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight
Sending all my love along the wire

im on the last day of my mc.
lots of phlegm swimming inside my nose & mouth.
having a tummyache right now =(
waiting for laundry (new bedsheets, this time) again.
today is winter solstice
going out to buy ready-made frozen tang yuan after laundry.

im still behaving like the rich little missy i was in japan.
i still bear the serizawa name but i no longer enjoy the benefits
no more bodyguards. no more debit cards.

xmas in 1 more day.
where are itokos? switzerland again?
miss us and our swiss villa.

rocking xmas & winter solstice, everyone.

明媚的月光更照亮了我的心

2010-12-19T12:04:00.015+08:00

讓我的歌聲随那微風吹開了你的窗帘
讓我的衷情随那流水不斷的向你倾訴

a long overdue update

im home alone, waiting for baby to come home
wondering what time he will arrive in sg
baby has gone on a company trip to KL
i couldnt sleep last night although i was tired
miss his warm body hugging my back to slumber

i've left that weepy song as the first post for too long
NO, it isnt there to convey emotions (if any) about that god damned mouse
i just thought its LYRICS WERE NICE, VERY POETIC, that's all.
when i posted up those lyrics, i was already with baby.
we're happy & endearing each other.
miss him very much. hope his company releases him soon.

so, i've gone through a string of dramas since my want-of-eternal-slumber post
tina helped a lot.
i was warded. she usually spends weekends happily resting with jeremy
but she dragged him all the way down with her from yishun to where my hospital was in simei for both saturday and sunday.
tina and i thought he didnt mind, a really good person & boyfriend
afterwards, during an argument he lashed it out at her that he spend his weekend rushing down to the hospital for me
=/
but i still think he's a good boyfriend. better than most i've seen, met & heard of.
for someone to do that for tina & i and NOT MIND, would be an exceptionally good person and boyfriend
i hope.......

tina tried hard to take care of me.
she brought me my baby (who puts up with my fanatical want of cleanliness)
but it was so hard. both of us working for the monthly wage and living so far away from each other
she tried to get me to meet her, but she always had somethings cropping up unexpectedly for her and then changing meeting locations thus of or just purely of her whiplash of a mind + i was so tired from anemia

since then, tina & i have had several tiffs
i have no idea what to do
i've given in to her enough. more than i do to other people
i've had a lot of kindness from kind christian friends like athel, sarah, angie, miss angel..........
i thought tina being christian would be the same
but the difference is, like me, she isnt as steadfast & doesnt go to church
i cant and dont extend the same kindness towards people like athel & sarah does unless they are very dear to me (athel, sarah, baby, tina)

spent the entire saturday with dear cecilia
she was a darling who came down all the way from pasir ris to accompany me
im still waiting for our yesterday photos from her
she PROMISED to email them at midnight.
i woke up & found my inbox EMPTY. grrr

yesterday was very fun
we met giants of A. A. Milne's Hundred Acre Woods characters
(thanks to me buying the redken hair treatment.
one has to spend at least $30 in a single receipt in any shop to be able to join a meet-and-greet photograph taking session with pooh bear & his company.)
i know they arent real, but i still enjoyed myself with Ceci even though i keep saying that she and her fanatical liking for pooh is really Lame. LOL

i learnt so much about caring for my hair yesterday
the hairstylist at the salon i was buying the redken hair treatment from, so very patiently explained and talked to me about hair care and treatment while Cc waited patiently for me
so sweet
and the bottle of treatment was cheaper than those shops selling body beauty products at a cheaper rate
the last i checked, it was $38. at the salon, after 10% discount for using nets, $32++

i actually wanted to buy redken smooth down butter treat as recommended by lingling, however it wasnt a leave-in conditioner & im only to use it every 3 days which i am to rinse it off
i hate spending extra time in the bathroom when im bathing
standing there waiting for conditioner with nothing to do. i'll much prefer a leave-in which i can apply anywhere and anytime.
i got redken smooth heat glide, costs the same as butter treat

no, i dont have pretty picture of me with my own redken like lingling does (if you view her link i've included above).
im simply too LAZY. i just woke up & i havent bathe =P

next up, a deluge of photos of over the past months.
(im too lazy to resize. huge-ass photos are better than no photos)

JULY

it was my summer birthday july 2010

in the train admiring my pretty rose ring

the shoes i wore out hurt my feet so i bought another from Design&Comfort... which did nothing to comfort my poor feet but hurt them too as its predecessor.

went to the SG flyer with tina, RGA & mh

dinner at popeye's. not very nice unless you're very hungry.
KFC for me anytime

very focused diner

designed the cake myself at the icing room

this act-cute boy

bracelet, present from tina

Athel's Farewell to AUS to pursue her dancing dreams
(just typed [pursue] as [persue]. either my spelling's getting bad to worse or i need some breakfast/brunch.)

tina bought eyeshadow online

Micky thought he could make it up to me by just treating me a measly dim sum meal
very well. FUCK HIM IF THAT DOES THE JOB.

tung lok is still the best.
when you've gotten the best, everything seems sucky because it is human nature to compare.

i've pasted a duckie sticker on baby's notebook.
have cherished this sticker since i was a child

Baby's 23rd Birthday

PRINCESS LAYLA 2nd Royal design done at the icing room

baby's friend gave him NDP Preview tickets.
we just took the goodie bags & left because i was crying really hard from all the sunshine.

we went to J Co at Raffles City Shopping Centre

Randoms

microsoft access in the office

fried maki is very very yummy!!!

where did we captured this? i cant remember

=DDDD

accidental photo. thought it was artsy

baby's creativity

AUGUST

in the bus, on the way to bethesda community at expo, mh's church

after church, at changi airport

another day

my favorite office tea-break

Recipe: crush as many biscuits as you into your cup of milo without over-flowing your cup

brought Fuzzy to work

on the way home from chinatown.
micky sponsored cab home

gift from my lawyer

my lawyer is also an author of a children's book

lunch at chinatown

mango (& banana??) smoothie

saw a huge blue doraemon shop in chinatown

i was texting minghui, telling her i've just bought cheap wrapping paper ($0.10 per piece at a bookshop opp honglim hawker centre) for the office's safety quiz prizes when the doraemon shop caught my attention (baby loves doraemon).
only saw shops dedicated to hello kitty IN SINGAPORE. it's sanrio fellow colleagues pale less in comparison by popularity

i was so distracted that i accidentally typed "wallpaper" instead of wrapping paper.
minghui replied,

wallpaper?? wrapping paper you mean.

i checked my sent inbox, and behold, i've indeed texted minghui i bought wallpaper for the quiz's prizes. i texted my apologies and she replied, it'd be very hard to claim (expenses from office) if i really bought wallpapers.

micky got me 2 months of iron supplements, very cheap.

bought in the same shop as the wrapping paper

saw its purple siblings in vivo giant mart. maybe i'll get it.

only $1.95 from watsons

Fuzzzzz sitting atop a mountain of ntuc packet tissues

awesome desk

beloved books

cereal shopping

good & cheap cereal

ironing at home

DAILY LIFE

trying to eat healthy for every meal

lunch

minghui bought for me to help improve my health

tastes very strongly of dang gui. very yucky. strongly not recommended unless you're in very poor health

bought noticeboard for Home

another day

Lunch

blanket to keep warm in office

hand warmer pad

using miss cake's bedsheet

brought Fuzz to work again

fenny put her doggie together with my fuzzy to keep each other company

another day

saw this at void deck when walking home

Indulgence

effort to eat healthy

A Saturday at Punggol Plaza

baby eat healthy with me to give me support & encouragement

too big for me. waiting for its new owner to come along.
tell me if you want it, i'll pass it to you. Size 8

SEPTEMBER

roof garden at vivo

mh came over to help me pack & cooked me the biggest bowl of instant mee of my life

all my life, i've always skipped the veges for my sandwich at subway

>my first subway sandwich with vege.

went for an overnight church thing by mh's church

The Dining Room

teacher's day present from my boy

中秋節

mh bought mooncakes to treat us

bird nest mooncakes

I SCREAM YOU SCREAM ICE-CREAM

Couple Dress

body warmer pad. the one bought previously is hand warmer.

OCTOBER

having a feast at toastbox

stuff from mustafa

got the biggest tupperware box to contain my plushies

baby blow-drying plushie after febreze

what's a girl to do when she discovers the internal camera in her LG Lollipop??

another day

my new sailor dress

found a crown hairband in forever 21

pedicure

iLight at Marina Bay

one of the showcases. theme for this is: my public garden

like xmas

frozen fireworks

Random

found my favorite food in my favorite color in vivo giant mart

my new woolly jacket from mango

found at novena united square

shifted cubicle at work. now my new seat can see cable cars
(until geraldine came along, occupied the next cubicle and pulled the window blinds down 24/7. major sian)

Baby & i lying on the bed making funny faces

east coast at baby's mother insistence
never again i tell you

my laundry's done
need to go bathe & hang out laundry

xoxo & merry xmas

Haven't I always loved you?

2010-08-23T21:22:00.002+08:00

Did I hear you right?
Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, how it hurts
Oh, haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
And when I hold you
You're almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Cause I know I'm almost here
Only almost here

see the moon and the stars

2010-06-09T12:00:00.011+08:00

If tomorrow never comes
I would want just one wish
To kiss your quiet mouth
Trace the steps of my fingertips
And it's you..

(: says:

haha. i didn't wanna jump down the building cos ugly. didn't wanna slit my wrist cos scared not deep enough or too painful. didn't wanna eat tablets and stuff too cos will foam at the mouth also very ugly. cannot hang also cos face will turn blue, even uglier. HAHAHA.

so in the end i continued living haha

PRINCESS LAYLABABY says:

i've decided to take tablets
panadol will do i think
foam can wipe away one mah!
you think we will just fall down and fall asleep like snow white or sleeping beauty meh!
sure have some sacrifice
as long as look nice in the coffin can already

(: says:

hahaha i wish lor. so everyday i wish i'll die in my sleep. so peaceful

yes it's true
if only i can just die naturally in my sleep.
it'll be so peaceful.

hiroshima mon amour

2010-06-08T15:42:00.005+08:00

Take these lips that were made for kissing
And this heart that will see you through
And these hands that were made to touch and feel you

the tv poured soap operas from its screen and i immersed myself in their foam, followed their meaningless affairs to get away from the knowledge i was leaving and kissing my childhood goodbye. i wanted to fool the feeling that my life would never be the same again.

Bluebird, Vesna Maric

some time ago, i borrowed an autobiography from yishun library authored by a bosnian girl called vesna maric who was a refugee in britain during the civil war years of her country, bosnia.

baby teased me that i was reading a dirty book because of the title. baby is too localised to understand anything about english literature and the likes.
if he sees the word bluebird, he doesnt think of freedom or the very least, real beautiful blue color birds.

nope.
instead, the grey-pink matter in his cranium immediately links bluebird to the hokkien version of the penis.
*eyes-roll
my baby is so cute.

anyway, i digress:

ISNT IT AMAZING THERE ARE LIKE, BLUE COLOR ANIMALS (are birds considered animals?) ON EARTH OR WHAT!??!!!??
GOD'S CREATIONS ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!

okay, back to the novel,

more excerpt from bluebird:

Several hours later we rolled on towards London. Everything felt different now that we were in Britain. A hollow sense of anti-climax blew through our collective heart. What next? We drove through bleak suburbs. Concrete blocks and identical small terraced houses stretched left and right for miles. The bus stopped in front of a grand white building with pillars and steps and ‘The Red Cross’ neatly engraved on a plaque. The women looked depressed. The reality of our journey suddenly hit home: the Red Cross was all about ‘aid’, ‘disaster’, ‘war’ and ‘tragedy’. And we were a product of all those things. This was not a prolonged excursion. Welcome to Britain

The elegant building, though housing an organization synonymous with all things sad, was far removed from our warring Balkan brutality. When I tried here to imagine anything to do with our war, I could only conjure up images from black and white Second World War films: nurses in dresses and square white head gear; soldiers with bandages, gazing at the ceiling. That’s what I thought might greet us when we entered: we would be ushered into a black and white room with unfolding camp beds and no one would sleep through the grey night.

Instead we found small, knitted flower patterned blankets on the floor, with more knitted blankets on top, the sum of which formed our beds. Everyone looked around, slightly lost, the middle-class émigrés’ dignity melting away like ice-cream down a cone. Some women sat on the floor, children asleep in their arms. Some wandered around the place, trying to look as if they knew what we were supposed to be doing. A Bosnian woman found a cardboard box full of soap and picked up a piece that was shaped like an orange. An English woman saw her and jumped, grabbing the soap from her hand: ‘No! Not to eat!’ Everyone was aghast: How dare she, the bitch, doesn’t she know we had VCRs and cars and soap bars? Our English hosts were embarrassed at their colleague’s odd behaviour, but we understood the situation: they thought we were savages.

Some of the Bosnian women were desperate to convince them otherwise. They spent hours explaining that we used to have everything: beds, sheets, extra linen in the cupboards, embroidered, starched; crystal glasses, memories, china, passports, vacuum cleaners, pets, tastes, holidays, smells, sounds, and most of all that we loved, loved each other, that we hadn’t spent the last fifty years secretly hating each other’s guts, waiting for the first opportunity to rip each other open in the most savage ways. They wanted to explain the war was a mistake, a ploy of evil politicians, it had nothing to do with us, the people sitting before them.

i am super excited about my evening plans.

to start off, i have to report strength to baby to tell him im going home.

last night while we were arguing and i complained that i dont even know what he really does when i dont see him because maybe who knows he's gone out with this girl he's currently interested in.
baby pointed an incriminating finger at me (figuratively) and said he doesnt even know what im doing on evenings when we dont meet because i never text him to inform.

dont even know what baby is doing later because he himself hasnt texted me the entire day except one in the morning (after my callings and sending him a text asking if he's woken up) in which he told me he's already at suntec and in training.

just gave him a call and not surprisingly, ~~my call is ignored~~ he never pick up.

yep, so after reporting strength im really going home.
no wanderings around.
because im going home to do facial!
just got myself gel masks =D

a note to myself in case i forget,
im gonna quit using nivea toner.
mentor recommended me either get the simple toner or the muji one from its hydrating range.
same shit just different brands, mentor said.

speaking of simple facial products,
i havent seen any around except certain watsons stores and john little in somerset.
it's gonna be a trudge.
as for muji, *palms face and pulls palms downwards.
bloody brand only has like 4 to 5 shops in entire of sg.
in bloody out of the way areas (i say out of the way because it isnt on my way home =P).
i was considering of despatching shuang shuang to ion muji to help me take a look.
i mean, since he works near there mah...
not a trouble hor shuang shuang??? xD

that is until i realized that it'd be better to just get down there and see it for myself.
i mean, im gonna be the one putting the stuff on my face i'd better be there to see feel touch read (the minuscule words behind the bottle) for myself.

another news is that, I HAVE SLIMMED DOWNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!
not much though.
what the heck.

somehow my body isnt used to eating dinner anymore.
it just wants to play the pc, read library books, watch tv and then sleep instead of eating.
good body, good girl!

however, i still have like a whole new bottle of milk and mini chipsmore cookies at home and i dunno when to eat them or how im gonna finish them!!
SHUANG SHUANG COME AND HELPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!

stupid facebook doesnt allow blogs to be linked to our notes anymore! >:(((((
*ANGRY
i love that feature so much!
humph.

daily photos.
(credits: Shuang Shuang's N9000 & Vivo's Carl Junior's floor)

i love my pearly ribbon shoes.

i'll never forget reading the meteor garden manga in which the artist drew tendo shizuka saying, "good shoes will bring you to good places."

hmm, but the thing is i dont buy good shoes.
none of the hushpuppies breed or anything near.
i always buy lovely shoes which sometimes hurt my feet but look so pretty/beautiful. =''/

Pizza Hut with Shuang Shuang super long ago
(cant remember when)

yummy yummy chocolate cake!

Take these arms that were made for lovin'
And this heart that will beat for two
Take these eyes that were meant for watching over you
And I've been such a long time waiting
For someone I can call my own
I've been chasing the life I'm dreaming
Now I'm home.

Come Into My World, Kylie Minogue

I'd Spend The End With You

2010-05-29T23:47:00.005+08:00

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

Somethin' told me it was over... (yeah)
When I saw you and her talking.
Somethin' deep down in my soul said, 'cry girl' (cry cry)
When I saw you and that girl walkin', around.
Whoo. I would rather, I would rather go blind, boy
Than to see you walk away from me child, no

Whoo. So you see, I love you so much,
That, I don't want to watch you leave me baby.
Most of all I just don't, I just don't want to be free, no.
Whoo. Whoo I was just, I was just, I was just, sitting here thinking
Of your kiss and your warm embrace, yeah
When a reflection in the glass that I held to my lips now baby (yeah yeah),
Revealed these tears that are on my face
Whoo. And baby, and baby, baby, I'd rather be blind, boy
Than to see you walk away, walk away from me, yea
And Baby, baby, baby, I'd rather be blind, boy
Than to see you walk away, walk away from me...

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/e/etta_james/#share

i was watching Cadillac Records, a movie about Etta James starring beyonce on HBO.

personal opinion: that was the best scene in the entire film.

i think etta james has blonde hair even though she's black because she's mixed like mariah carey.
she had a white father and a black mother (mariah carey was vice-versa).
but why does she have black eyebrows? or did hairdye already existed in that era?

im being so silly.

this is the original etta james singing I'd Rather Go Blind

from the bff;

Girl That Can't Break-Up, Boy That Can't Leave (feat. Lee Hyori) by Lee Ssang

modern love is so weak.

unlike the olden days when people stay together for a lifetime through thick and thin from dating til marriage and then old age

sometimes i think that isnt love. it's just like. a little stronger than infatuation.

was checking my facebook mail alerts just now.

sometimes i feel like strangling my one and only 天下無雙
because PRINCESS LAYLA's 天下無雙 has a BIG MOUTH.

found this twitter page via one of my twitter contacts natlichka.

http://twitter.com/common_squirrel

first glance, the author is rather bo liao.
but whoever the author is, the page is SUPER CUTE!
funny too!

my vaseline cocoa butter body lotion makes my rosken handcream smells like skunk.
it's too wonderful.

Strumming Some Heartstrings

2010-05-26T18:22:00.004+08:00

"And think not you can
Direct the course of love,
For love,
If it finds you worthy,
Directs your course."

- Khalil Gibran

it is so cold here i am wearing baby's armani winter jacket zipped all the way up.

never knew winter jackets could come in handy in singapore too.
the jacket is all puffy i feel fatter than i actually am when i wear it.

i also "stole" a set of baby's winter sweater and leggings from his wardrobe.
i used inverted commas because baby had said that whatever that is his is mine to use ^^
plus it's not like he wears the sweater and leggings even when he's overseas.
we dont even know how long that set of warm stuff have been languishing in his wardrobe, bought and forgotten since time immemorial.
baby just dug them out of his wardrobe one day when he was packing for his tokyo trip last december.
in the end, he didnt even bring them because when i took them home they still had the purchase tags on them.

we were on the phone when he was packing and he went, "oh! i just found a set of sweater and leggings i can wear in tokyo from my wardrobe. i dont seem to have worn them before!"

Pause.

Then,

Baby: oh, your jacket is so warm and nuffy! (my best and favorite fleece jacket no less) can i borrow it for my trip?????

PRINCESS LAYLA: i doubt you can wear lor! (but deep in my heart i was thinking, i dont even want you to go for that fucking trip. i hope you freeze to death there. do you think i want to lend you my jacket?)

Baby: i can wear! im wearing it now!

at that time i was thinking, "WTF??? I DONT WANT YOU WEARING MY FAVORITE JACKET! AND I DONT WANT TO LEND YOU!!!!"

after much sa jiao and negotiation (he must wash blah blah blah), i surrendered and let him bring my precious fleece zara jacket to tokyo with him.

but now here i am, in his precious puffy armani winter jacket.
and i've washed my/his sweater+leggings set at home which im going to wear tonight to defend myself from the biting a/c in my room.
it is a tragedy that my room doesnt have a fan.
-shakes head in despair-

baby complains that im bringing more and more of his stuff home and he lends them to me without any T&C but when he wants them back he has to deal with my T&C.

baby is being ridiculous.

when baby wants his winter stuff back, it means he's going travelling (most probably to japan). Again. Without Me.
of course which sane loving girlfriend would want that to happen right? especially when japan has so many girls with cute figures and cute plastic surgeried faces.
so my T&C is (duh) he must bring me along if not no winter stuff.

there are hand sanitizers accessible at most corners for our usage.
that's not amazing.

there are antiseptic wipes next to the hand sanitizers for our usage.
now, that is amazing.

i say, being in a foreign culture is definitely refreshing.
most local establishments either dont even give a fuck or when you suggest providing hygiene stuff for their own people, they immediately take out the pck measuring tape to measure the costs and start yapping their heads off about expenses.

i just gave my earpiece a good rub down with an antiseptic wipe last monday
(i mean, since provided might as well use right!).
one cant bloody imagine how awfully dirty my earpiece was. cant imagine i've been putting them next to my face for so long. it is a wonder why my cheeks havent broke out with lots and lots of worse-nightmare acne.

Events:

the Royal Tian Xia Wu Shuang is happily 'eating wind' in my daddy's lovely hometown.
criess.

before he left, he asked if i wanted anything from home.
i couldnt think of anything unless to unplug the entire ancestral house and plant it here.
so i said to get something cute from shibuya.
i hope he opens his eyes big big because if it isnt cute im not refunding him! =P

baby is on a 4-day reservist shit in a cck camp.
MAJOR CRIESS.

so looking forward to the good old long weekend!
thank god for buddhism!
that's what all these pagan religions are there for: to give us extra public holidays!
we cant possibly be just relying on christmas day and good friday.

baby's out on thursday! =D
imma go bunk at his house in the evening to surprise him with lots of sayangs!
imma help him bathe, give him massages and whatnots.

tiny consolation: i splurged on a huge bottle of vaseline cocoa butter body lotion for my poor hands!
it smells so damn nice!
i always use it before i go to bed.
the first night i used it, i placed my hands on my pillow inhaling the lovely butter fragrance.
the last thing i thought before i slipped off into dreamland was i wanna eat my hands.

get out of my dreams, get into my car

2010-04-21T18:42:00.000+08:00

i close my eyes
i open my mind
i think of things
yet to come
one day i will see
the face of my love
one day i will be
in somebody's arms
until that day
will come to be
i close my eyes
and dream a dream....

i understand that, just like me, Mike wanted to have a family, to belong, even if temporarily. and i felt that he'd perhaps sniffed out the loneliness in me, that it had made him think we were kindred spirits. the idea made me shudder.

as i left the house i saw andy, the DJ, driving past in his brown car, windows rolled down, techno blasting. that's what he liked to do, apparently, drive around town with the music turned all the way up, drowning everything else out.

Bluebird

A Bird Never Flew On One Wing

2010-04-20T15:55:00.009+08:00

anyone there,
write something that
you wish that would
last forever, please.

i miss the 2009 new year fireworks i watched with.....
it feels like i've been calling him 'baby' since forever
and it feels strange that i dont/cant anymore.
the strangest thing is that even if i were to see him somewhere else now, my brain will still register him as "baby".
or would that be the voice of my heart?

why would i still want to call him baby?

maybe because he is the only baby i will ever know

that flickr game
(via daydreamlily)

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd's mosaic maker.

i have no idea what is a fd mosaic maker.
neither do i know how to make a mosiac with flickr photos like most blogs.
so settle for links beneath the questions themselves.

1. What is your first name?
PRINCESSLAYLA

2. What is your favorite food?
Pancakes, Cupcakes, Waffles, Bananas, Eggs

3. What high school did you go to?
PHS
(omg. when did they paint the staircase until like that?)

4. What is your favorite color?
Purple

5. Who is your celebrity crush?
my dirty dancing: havana nights javier suarez!

6. Favorite drink?
Lemonade Stand

7. Dream vacation?
Provence

8. Favorite dessert?
杨枝甘露

9. What you want to be when you grow up?
Barrister-at-law

10. What do you love most in life?
Everyone should know this

11. One Word to describe you.
i still dont know who to choose (if given a choice)

12. Your flickr name.
see question 1

macs should totally stop selling such delicious fries.
i am awfully addicted to them.
oh no.

suddenly, i am also very aware and afraid of my own mortality.

a checkup last week has shown me shortening by 4cm!
OMFG.
no wonder micky keeps on raving his taller than me me several cm when he's just 169 and i was very certain that i am a 168. how can he be any taller than 1 cm than me?

argh.
extremely upset like fuck.

so this afternoon at lunchtime saw me especially went and bought anlene concentrate milk from ntuc.

bloody thing costs $3.80 for 4 tiny packets.
goodness.
hardly thirst-quenching even.
but i wanna stop shrinking!

cannot stop weeping internally over my loss (4 bloody cm, criesss)

awfully enchanted by my harry potter series again.
have started immersing myself in to hp adventures.
halfway through the sorcerer's stone.

i have plans to get the rest of the books (i only have up to goblet of fire) by scholastic pubs from borders (only place i see selling or be able to help me order - i think).

whilst browsing through flickr for my answers, i found these:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/missbhanu/2355489226/

the boy on the right is CUTE.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/alisonlyons/2227499648/

i like the interior!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/frizztext/3518148510/

this mini set is so cute.

the funny ones

http://www.flickr.com/photos/goodmolecules/3464774652/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/doc18/246307625/
run bunny run!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lenaah/2187192215/in/photostream/
recipe for a duck soup: heat up any campbells. add a rubber duckie. serve.

one of my all-time favorite movies

i believe the love of my life is waiting for me somewhere in la rosa negra, cuba.

Katey Miller: I am taking you with me.
Javier Suarez: I am keeping you here [places hand over his heart]

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights

Maybe It's True That I Can't Live Without You

2010-04-19T14:51:00.000+08:00

Bring down your last defence
Feel your innocence
Slip into the light,
Baby hold on tight

all around us the tables were filling up - mostly with clusters of giggling girls - but occasionally a couple entered the room, a girl and a boy who sat close together but said very little - struck dumb by their own brillance, i thought. struck drumb by the wonderfulness of being together and away from home.

The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets

been researching re: further studies recently.
dear shuang shuang accompanied me braving mad cats and dogs rains and shoes-drowning puddles to the bloody school.
oh yah, in the end also never buy the new shirt to replace hor?
lol.

dont even know if im smart / capable enough to take up that subject.

random: i so love the nick i gave to shuang shuang. i think it's awfully fuzzy cute! PRINCESS LAYLA's tian xia wu Shuang! LOL.

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme

2010-04-05T01:48:00.002+08:00

so i laid on my bed, filtering them out one by one.
in the past, i would take them for granted, deleting all at one shot.
cause this may be the last i'll ever get.

When Chaquie came up to bed she was flushed and happy-looking.

Briefly.

The she started on another of her rants. This time it was the evil of women who work. I made a great show of pulling the covers over my head and saying "Good night." But it made no difference. Chaquie had some things to get off her chest and she didn't care who knew it.

"... And the husband comes home after a long day in the office - or the beauty salon..." She allowed herself a little chuckle at this. "... And the house is a shambles, the kids are screaming..."

"There's no dinner on the table," I interrupted from under my blankets, deciding to beat her to it.

"That's right, Rachel." She sounded pleasantly surprised. "There's no dinner on the table."

"His shirts aren't ironed," I called up to her.

"That's ri..."

"The children come home from school to an empty, cold house..."

"That's ri..."

"They eat potato chips and cookies instead of a hot, nourishing meal.."

"Exac..."

"They watch pornography on the telly, they indulge in incest, they house burns down and their mother isn't there to stop it and they all die!"

A silence followed that and eventually I peeped out from under my blankets.

Chaquie was staring a me in confusion. She strongly suspected that I was laughing at her, but she couldn't be sure.

Shortly afer that, in grim silence, Chaquie turned off the light and got into bed.

Rachel's Holiday by Marian Keyes

Hilarious.

Found these on facebook.

i dont get the drift about the penguin.
what's the drift?

The Occasional Flicker

2010-03-30T17:23:00.007+08:00

mix is to combine
match is to harmonize with

sick and tired of doing what i was doing. it's so tedious.

i cannot play facebook bejeweled because in less than 10 hours, all scores are gonna be erased. and what for do i want to continue playing to get a new high score when it's going to be erased a few hours later?

jung-gun is down with something. he said checkup today. i wonder what. im so worried for my bff. hope his girlfriend takes good care of him.

You get used to the reality of being huge-breasted. For example, when shopping for rockmelons you need to be careful that you're not charged for four when you're only carrying two. When it rains, you have to be ready for the shelf problem - the windward vs the leeward side of the twin mountains (the trick is to hold the bottom half of your shirt out to get an even soaking of rain).

Thanks For The Mammaries
edited by Sarah Darmody

it is easter soon.

geekit has asked me to return to true grace on easter sunday for a reminiscence.
she said it isnt as discriminating now as it was then because there are lots of china people.

i was thinking, okayy.. maybe shall go "home" and see all of them again..?
but then suddenly all my thoughts of going back skidded to a halt.

WAIT A MINUTE.
LOTS OF CHINA PEOPLE?
THERE?
NOW?

no, thank you but NO
all the more i dont wanna go back.
i dont wanna go socialize with and immerse myself into all the bristling tongue-rolling accents (and im not saying the french or italian).

i missed the days being her jiejie playing with her so innocently in her room.
i didnt had to worry about surviving like now, or getting annoyed and still be in love with mummy's boy boyfriend.
i still kept all the little knick-knacks she gave me.

दूम तो क्रुम्ब्ले उन्लेस वे ग्रो

2010-03-19T11:22:00.012+08:00

If living is for learning,
Then dying is forgetting,
Once we have forgotten
then we can go on living

Show-stopping kisses come a few times in a lifetime, at most. If you've any sense, you try to hang on to the person who's delivered the show-stopper, so they can deliver them daily, like milkmen did before supermarkets stayed open round the clock.
But of course, however many times you try, you'll never recreate the power of that first kiss. The dizziness, the holding on for dear life, the way the rest of the world fades away and there's nothing but lips and lust and little fireworks exploding at the periphery of your vision. Feeling lost and found, all at once. Oh, and lost in time.

After a kiss that might have lasted ten seconds or ten minutes for all I know, Will and I come up for air. He's slightly pink, and I suspect I'm even pinker. The bit of my brain that deals with speech has deserted me and instead I gaze at him, overwhelmed.

That truly was an unrepeatable show-stopper of a kiss. All subsequent kisses are bound to be a disappointment.

But, you know, there's no harm in checking, is there? Just to make sure . . .

The Secret Shopper's Revenge

i have absolutely no idea why my title is hindi.
each time i key in [ space ] after each word, it gets auto-translated into hindi! goodness. how irritating.
but whatever.

tina and i have nothing to do. we're enjoying ourselves with the company's communicator (think internal msn without all the nudges and special msn features).
it's lunchtime soon. we're gonna tabao food and then head to tina's friend's dept to help out folding letters into window envelopes. she has this 1k pile of letters to send out.

my hands are so painfully dry. i've gotta get handiplasts for my paper cuts. the cloth kind which feels more comfortable.

i am so bored. i am also very sleep-deprived. tgif does not apply to me.
instead of getting sleep-ins on saturday, i have to get up early and go tutor an eight year old boy. plus side is he doesnt live too far away.
yes, i can go back to sleep after the tuition. but if given the choice, i prefer to sleep straight through which i think is much more awesome than interrupted sleep.

lady cherry blossoms well accompanied me on a shopping spree for formal clothes. we had such fun. not only was she so incredibly helpful, she has also slimmed down so much. we blamed it on the stress of her degree studies. it seems that she was just like me when i entered np for ech. not very used to and unhappy with independent tertiary studies. i told her that she used to have so much difficulty just getting through each module for diploma, i dont know what's she gonna do to get through each module for her bachelor.

i was told that this girl in my classmate claimed that she was borne out of teenage pregnancy wedlock, the woman she calls mom at home is actually her grandma, the guy she calls elder brother is actually her dad, her teenage mother was japanese and has run away/died (whichever because my friend cannot remember).

seriously, there are all kinds of weird people in this world with their outstanding stories.

my friend chided me that i believe whatever bullshit people feed to idiots.
but seriously? i dont give a shit. so what if i believe or dont believe? not as if that fact or myth is like going to affect my life.
all i care now is a LLB one day, SHOPPING and my best friends.
does the shit about her being a teenage pregnancy ainoko really applies to the three things i've listed?
no,i dont think so.
so honestly who gives a damn.

anyway, that isnt the point im making.
i found a rather hilarious match with plastizilla whom she claims is a paternal cousin.
plastizilla also claimed that she has jap blood didnt she?
when i asked the girl about plastizilla's claim a long time ago in school, the girl claimed that she doesnt know about that jap blood part of plastizilla. she said that maybe the japanese mix was plastizilla's mom side since their paternal family is of dutch blood.
so now the girl also starting to claim that her mother was also of jap blood.

HONESTLY LEH! WHAT IS IT WITH SOME SINGAPOREANS LOVING TO CLAIM THEY HAVE SOME MIX OF JAPANESE BLOOD HUH???
WHAT THE FUCK IS SO GOOD ABOUT HAVING EITHER MUMMY OR DADDY FROM JAPAN??
JAPANESE PEOPLE GOT SUPER POWERS CAN FLY/TELEPORT/HAVE TELEPATHY/IMMORTAL PHYSICAL BODIES IS IT??
SIAO!

then the moment something happens to them overseas like plane hijack/kena wrongly arrested/whatever lah, they immediately call upon the singapore embassies for help and proclaim they are honest to goodness original singapore citizens with ic number SXXXXXXXX to boot.

but hor, if i have to choose to be of japanese or national chinese blood of course i prefer japanese like everyone else lah.
details not convenient to disclose so go figure. = P

i've done up the new blogskin but i cant decide if it's better and nicer than my current one *POUTS

All The Honey

2010-02-21T02:38:00.005+08:00

We are chasin' the moon
Just running wild and free
We are following through
Every dream and every need

'Even if things don't work out, there's always Johnnie,' she added, and unlike the rest of the world, I knew that she was being serious; she simply could not conceive of a reason why Johnnie Ray, world famous and only in England a few nights a year, should want to spend his time with anyone but us. I loved her for that. And why not? We were young and the world spun for us alone.

The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets

some awfully cute quotes and lovely photography found in photobucket.

'Happiness can be frightening when one is not accustomed to the sensation.'

The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets

Modern Boys & Guinea Pigs

2010-02-20T02:28:00.001+08:00

Fragments of our love
That's all we have
What we had was fantasy,
Dreams and photographs

'It won't last,' sighed Charlotte. 'He can only ever forget about her for short bursts of time. Then it comes back again, worse than ever.'

'How tiresome it must be,' I said, 'being in love, I was and always led to believe it would be the most wonderful thing ever.'

The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets

Snowfall and 45s

2010-02-19T02:11:00.000+08:00

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do

Despite the rain, the crowds had gathered behind the railings of Dorset House to watch the guests arriving for the party, hoping for a glimpse of Princess Margaret, I supposed. As we stepped out of our taxi, one or two of the photographs had shouted out Charlotte's name and asked her what she was carrying.

'Parakeets,' she said solemnly. A moment later, an efficient-looking man had swept up and taken the cage from Charlotte.

'Oh! They're a present!' she cried.

'For Miss Marina? Will she know who they're from?'

'I doubt it.'

The man took out a pen and card and handed them to Charlotte who handed them to Harry. From me, he wrote, and the rain smudged the ink.

'How on earth will she know who "me" is?' I asked him, slightly irritated.

'Because no one else will give her anything that can't be worn, sprayed, eaten, drunk or sat on.'

The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets

Chocolate Love

2010-02-17T01:46:00.001+08:00

Look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

'To be quite frank, I'm bored witless by the whole Marina Hamilton saga,' she said through a mouthful of hairpins. 'Still, events that take months to develop in the cold light of day can be whizzed through in just a few hours at the right party. I'm hoping that Harry will go through the lot: anger, despair, humiliation - followed by revelation, hope and finally, triumph. It's the mix of drink and cigarette smoke that does it.'

The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets

Miss Six Foot Nothing

2010-02-16T01:19:00.004+08:00

I'm way too cool for ya boy
That's why it'll never work
I'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it's over

Aunt Clare bustled into the room. 'Penelope dear, how delightful.' She kissed me on both cheeks. 'How are your cricketing skills?'

'Oh - the cap. Gosh, I still feel bad about that.'

She gave me a wink. 'Don't, darling. Don't ever feel guilty about anything - such a waste of time. Now, I'll have some champagne please, Phoebe. Mercy! What on earth are those birds doing on my desk?' She clasped a hand to her heart.

'They're off to the party with us, Aunt. They're part of the Marina Don't Do it campaign.

'No wonder they're green.'

'Sick as parakeets.' Charlotte giggled.

The Lost Art Of Keeping Secrets

Five O'Clock And Later

2010-02-15T01:11:00.002+08:00

I'm what you want, I'm what you need
She's got you trapped, I'll set you free
Sexually, mentally, physically, emotionally
I'll be like your medicine, you'll take every dose of me

'And Charlotte,' he added briskly, 'say hello to aunt from me, will you?'

Charlotte didn't miss a beat. 'Of course I will. She talks of Paris with such fondness.'

'It was Rome.'

'Ah, you were Rome? I'm sorry, I get so muddled.'

The Lost Art Of Keeping Secrets

Honey Days Ahead

2010-02-14T02:23:00.001+08:00

And I won't wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
You'll reach for me and I'll know it's for sure
Then I'll give all the love in the world

'Nineteen fifty-five!' I said. Then louder, 'NINETEEN FIFTY-FIVE!' I laughed. The year ahead was a blank page, and surely all anyone could ever want was blank pages?'

The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets

Breaking Hearts In Mono

2010-02-12T14:50:00.004+08:00

I dreamt I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
'Cause no one else cared

Current Royal Read: The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets

'Well, Charlotte's aunt asked me to remember her to you,' I said.

'She did?' He was so stunned, he actually stopped moving for a second, which was so unlike him that I felt slightly alarmed. 'I'm amazed she has any recollection of my existence.' He was trying hard not to sound too pleased. 'The day after I left for England, she took up with some Austrian count. The following month, I heard she was dining out every night with an eye doctor from Bristol. And all the time she was married to some good-looking bore with a club foot. Yet she was so entertaining, so rare and so damned beautiful, she was quite beyond blame.'

'Do you think she ever had her heart broken? You know, really smashed into pieces?'

'Heavens, your generation talk a lot of rubbish, Penelope. Hearts smashing into pieces, indeed.'

A rather endearing novel.

Took My Heart To The Limit

2010-02-10T12:42:00.002+08:00

Let's walk the bridge to the other side
Just you and I
I'll fly the skies for you and I
I will try until I die for you and I

Photography by Kelsey Genna

baby has been so surprisingly nice to me.
this recent behavior is baffling.
i wonder why.

out of guilt because he recently started having another girlfriend behind my back?

-above is only a speculation. which might turn out to be a mis-speculation.-

chinese new year is coming.
i dont have anybody to get red packets from.
or anybody to eat reunion dinner with.

baby is going to eat reunion dinner and visit relatives with his family.
he wont be having any extra time for me.
and of all luck, valentine's day falls on 1st day of new year this year.

i wish i can travel back in time.
chinese new year used to be my favoritest favoritest childhood festive holiday (other than the japanese new year where we get swamped in silk brocade kimonos and we get the most kawaii colorful little silk blessing pouches).
everything seems better when you were a child.
red packets to get without guilt and relatives asking when you're getting married blah blah nonsense.
as children, we can eat until our tummies are bloated with bak gua, candies and sweetened packet drinks without fear of nonsense like putting on weight (criesss).
we are surrounded by the only people we love in this world - daddy, mummy, siblings & grandparents (aunts & uncles exist to give us red packets).
we are never alone on cny eve or cny.

PostSecrets

The Truth of Dreams

2010-01-25T11:28:00.004+08:00

You remember only what you want to remember.
You know only what your heart allows you to know.

Amy Tan, Saving Fish From Drowning

yesterday evening, xiaoling jiejie was baking the cny almond cookies again.
the air was wafting with the aroma of baking almond cookies.
there was this lovely atmosphere of warmth and home.

i said to baby, 'perhaps we can bottle up this and make it into a fragrance called " almond cookies".'

baby replied: you go invent lor!

how does the manufacturing of a perfume comes about?

baby is leaving me on sunday for a bloody 3-day trip to batam with his stupid company.

I DONT WANT! I DONT WANT! I DONT WANT! I DONT WANT!!

Criesss